


Heart in Chains

by fromthenorthernskies



Series: Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head [2]
Category: Canada's Drag Race RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/F, I like writing them, I spread the Kyara agenda as all should, Kiara is head over heels for Kyne, Kyne is a dense dumbass, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, Welcome to my new fic, and good luck making it right lmao, gives me a break from the clowns, god I wanna smash my head on my desk they're so d u m b, i'm back on my bullshit, just talk like normal people goddammit, look at me being back so soon with another fic, where everyone struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthenorthernskies/pseuds/fromthenorthernskies
Summary: Kiara had waited years to meet Kyne, but trust her brain to mess up the very second she laid her eyes on the prettiest person she had ever met in her twenty-something years. “God, you’re so small for someone so angry all the time,” she uttered before realizing what she had done and almost facepalmed herself.ORThe sequel to Gettin' Triggy With It - the soulmate AU where you can hear the voice of your soulmate in your head, and they somewhat have access to your thoughts. Unless you decide to block them, that is.
Relationships: Kiara/Kyne (Drag Race)
Series: Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988743
Comments: 34
Kudos: 25





	1. I need your venom, it's been in my system

**Author's Note:**

> Bonjour/Hi, it is I, Emerald, with a new work dedicated to the Kyara Express once again.  
> This is the sequel to Gettin' Triggy With It - you should head there and read it before starting this one, it will make more sense!  
> As usual, Soulmates AU is my brand, we been knew. 
> 
> PS: I'm not responsible of the emotions this might create. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

There was something inherently scary about meeting the person who had such a tight hold on your heart for the first time. Unlike Kyne, Kiara had never felt the need to keep her emotions deeply caged inside of her, surrounded by titanium walls. She was the kind of person who kept her heart on her sleeve, loving as freely as she could. 

But this situation was different. The French Canadian knew she was in love with the smartass destined to her (had probably been for a long time), which was why she was so eager to invite her to her home for a good part of the summer. But now that the deed was done and Kyne was supposed to come in less than three days, Kiara found herself consumed by anxiety and self-conscious thoughts. 

She had no idea where to stand with Kyne. The Ontarian had made some flirty comments when they had talked, but the taller one was pretty sure Kyne wasn’t head over heels for her, unlike her. Kiara wasn’t even sure the girl  _ liked _ her. She had been serious when she had told Kyne she knew the other student disliked her. It was only that Kyne had managed to surprise her with her answer, back then - and Kiara couldn’t help but still second guess it. 

It was stupid. She knew. They  _ were _ destined for one another, but that didn’t mean the horror stories she read on the internet about how badly some ended didn’t leave a scar on her brain. She wasn’t expecting Kyne to kill her - though, now that she mentioned it, the math major had a  _ lot _ of pent-up anger for such a small body. Kiara was expecting more something along the lines of Kyne just ignoring her every time she made a small mistake or how she would try to make her life a living hell. Was the Filipina mean enough to do that, though? Kiara wanted to give her the benefit of doubt, but was cautious, especially after the last three years. 

Even if her heart was telling her to throw everything overboard and just go with the flow. 

Her parents were getting concerned and she couldn’t blame them, really. They had watched her struggle, swear, and curse her soulmate during the last three years, only to do a 360 in the last few days and ask them if she could come see her in Québec. And that didn’t account all the times, during her high school years, when Kiara had cried over it. Her mother had to console her at least two or three times a week, assuring her that  _ yes _ , she did have a soulmate but sometimes they just decided to hide until they were ready. That lasted until Kiara was around 17 and had lost more or less all hopes of ever hearing from her soulmate. And now they were meeting in a few days. 

Kiara even started to think that all the times she heard mumbling in her head was just a fluke. 

But now that she had made contact with her bonded, what’s more out of their respective thoughts, the Québécoise wasn’t letting go. She guessed she just had to be calm with it. 

* * *

“There’s nothing calm about you,” simply stated Tynomi with an exasperated gaze, downing her shot. “You’re the epitome of the expression:  _ ball of nerves _ .” From the corner of her pale brown eyes, Kiara saw the nods of her other friends and groaned. She stuck her hand back into the large popcorn bowl in the middle of the room. 

“Can you really blame me? Kyne is just…  _ special _ .” 

“Of course she is,  _ dumbass _ , she’s your soulmate. Isn’t she supposed to love you no matter what, anyway?” proposed Lemon as she leaned back a bit more closely into Priyanka’s embrace. Those two were always together, lately. It was suspicious. Kiara would have been investigating more if she didn’t have her hands full with her ever growing stress instead. 

“That’s a myth, really. You can hate your soulmate, or you can be just friends with them. Sometimes, it’s unrequited love. It’s not always a fairy tale,” mumbled Rita, sipping on her glass of red wine on the couch of Kiara’s living room. Her parents were gone for their weekly date night and had left the house in the care of their only daughter, who had promptly invited her whole friend group. 

“Always the good word for cheering huh?” 

“Shut up, Jimbo. I’m right, and you know it,” snapped the other French Canadian in the room. Rita actually had a weird air about her, like she knew something she didn’t want to talk about. Kiara also saw Anastarzia watching her with curiosity, and knew then that she wasn’t imagining things. 

“Guys, while it’s true that soulmates don’t always fall for each other, in over ninety percent of the cases they are at least good friends. That’s a nice thing to aim for, no?” 

Ah. Juice, the voice of reason who hated conflicts and was studying psychology - while most of them had already graduated, Kiki being the youngest and now recently graduated as well, Juice had decided to continue to the doctorate, meaning she was still stuck in university. Kiara didn’t understand how she managed to not throw herself off a bridge every exam week, but the short woman made it happen. With lots of coffee and tears. 

* * *

The whole soulmate being friends was a cute thought, but Kiara was still overthinking it all. Kyne had barely talked to her in the last days, simply saying that she had to concentrate for the last exam of her major, always aiming for the best grade. She also said how distracting Kiara was, and the computer science major absolutely did  _ not _ flush crimson at it. She still  _ might _ have sent Kyne a cheeky selfie of her wishing her good luck. 

_ Who cares if she didn’t get an answer?  _

When her friends left, as usual, Rita stayed behind to talk but also help clean up their mess. The older woman, a cutthroat businesswoman, was the closest thing she had to a big sister, and Kiara cherished that relationship dearly. 

Her parents arrived shortly after the girls had left, but they were happy to see Rita was still there, asking her some questions here and there, and then leaving them alone once again. Their silence was comfortable, but Kiara felt a question burn her lips and couldn’t help herself. 

“What was up with you earlier?”

“What are you referring to?” asked Rita in the neutral voice she was known for, but Kiara  _ knew _ the older one knew exactly what she was referring to and was delaying the inevitable. 

“Don’t play dumb. When you snapped back at Lemon because of soulmates,” said the taller one, moving away most of the trash in the garbage bag nearby. 

“First, I didn’t snap back. Second, I just expressed an opinion - nothing against you and Kyne,  _ mon coeur _ , I wish you the best, you know that. But sometimes, it doesn’t happen. It’s unfortunate, but it’s life.” Kiara frowned at the last bit of information. Was the blonde talking from experience? She had never talked about it, and everyone assumed that Rita  _ had _ a soulmate, but just didn’t feel comfortable talking about it for whatever reason. She had never seemed sad because of it - but now... Now Kiara could see the facade crumble slightly, her almost-sister grasping the trash way too harshly with shaking hands. 

“Who is it?” When Rita didn’t answer, and instead tried to just avoid it, Kiara planted herself firmly in front of the shorter one. They didn’t have that much height difference, since Rita was pretty tall herself, but she still had to raise her chin with defiance to look into her hazel eyes. “Who hurt you that much?” pressed the younger one, her tone dropping into thinly veiled anger. 

“No one, it’s fine. They’re happy with someone else, and I’m not gonna stand in their way,” assured Rita softly. “Yes, it makes me sad sometimes. But like I said, it  _ happens _ . Life goes on.”

“Were you in love with them? Are you still...?” dared to ask the computer science major. 

A single look from Rita told her everything she needed to know. “I’m sorry,  _ mon coeur _ . I’m so, so sorry,” murmured Kiara, instantly grabbing the other in her arms, Rita hesitantly returning the hug. “It’s okay. I never had a chance,” said the other, moving away to take a hold of the trash and her own bag. “She’s still my favourite citrus, and I can still protect her.”

Kiara was left on the edge of her living room, flabbergasted. 

_Rita and Lemon?!_ _Neither of them had ever said anything about it!_

* * *

The three days were finally done. 

Kyne was free from her own personal hell -  _ her dorm _ \- and was supposed to be there anytime now. Kiara had proposed that she picked her up from the airport, since the city could easily become confusing - especially since she lived on the other side of town, a good thirty minutes drive from the airport. 

But now, she was just in the waiting area, nervously biting off her nails. It was one thing to handle Kyne’s voice in her head, and another to suddenly have her in all her glory in front of her. Kiara might have been dramatic, but she wasn’t sure she would survive the whole ordeal. 

Kyne had warned her that she had a tendency to fall asleep in planes, and literally had to be shaken awake by the flight attendants most of the time so she could leave. Kiara had simply told her in a deadpan voice that her flight would barely take two hours at most, but by the way she didn’t hear anything for the last hour and a half, Kiara figured her soulmate  _ really _ did fall asleep. She almost laughed thinking about it. It was cute, honestly. 

“Kiara?” 

The tall girl instantly jumped out of her thoughts, surprised to see a small woman with tanned skin and a raised inquisitive eyebrow, her dark brown eyes meeting the hazel ones of Kiara. She had a small backpack and a large purple suitcase near her. But the most interesting fact was their oblivious height difference, as Kiara almost towered over the Filipina. She had always been tall, more than most of her friends, but the other student was just  _ tiny. _

Kiara had waited years to meet Kyne, but trust her brain to mess up the very second she laid her eyes on the prettiest person she had ever met in her twenty-something years. “God, you’re so small for someone so angry all the time,” she uttered before realizing what she had done and almost facepalmed herself. 

“Shut up you tall giraffe, and don’t bend down - you’ll break your back,” seethed Kyne, her face absolutely outraged. Kiara smirked - she  _ was _ cute when she was angry, though. She couldn’t resist continuing to tease her about her height. 

“How’s the weather down there?” 

“At least  _ I _ can walk through a door without hitting my big, empty head!” roared back the Ontarian, coming closer to the French Canadian and hitting her lightly in the shoulder. Kiara barely bit back a comment on how Kyne was able to reach that high and smiled tenderly. She had felt awkward waiting, but with Kyne here, she felt comfortable, safe - regardless of all their bickering. 

Without even realizing, she grabbed the slightly older woman and held her tightly against her, comforted by the warmth of Kyne and her sweet perfume that was barely present. It smelled like what home should smell, at least to Kiara - even if she couldn’t really identify what scent it really was. It just felt cozy, like she could melt into Kyne’s arms without a care that they were in a full airport. “I’m happy you’re here, I dreamed about it,” mumbled Kiara, her voice wavering with emotion. 

At first, she had felt Kyne struggle inside the embrace, probably unsure of what to do, but after a few seconds, Kiara sensed the other student relaxing in the hug. Kyne had pushed her head more into her shoulder, nuzzling at it softly. The Québécoise felt the small hands of her soulmate grasp her university hoodie tightly, unwilling to let go. 

Kiara knew at that exact moment how screwed up she was - no one would compare to Kyne, regardless of how the smaller one would treat her, or how their relationship would go. 

* * *

The drive home was mostly silent, but not uncomfortable, and they made it to Kiara’s home a bit under thirty minutes. It was almost time for dinner, so Kyne would have to handle the whole “meeting the parents” sooner rather than later. Needless to say, Kiara was nervous - and a single look at the disinterred profile of Kyne, looking around absentmindedly, made her understand how she probably was just as anxious. It made no sense, but she knew without knowing - maybe that was a soulmate thing? 

As they entered the large kitchen area, Kiara let her hand graze softly against Kyne’s, never taking it but simply reminding her that she was still there in case. To her biggest surprise, Kyne shot her a shy smile, miles away from her usual closed-off expression - and she was used to those. Rita was her best friend, after all. 

Her parents were actually finishing dinner, and her mother instantly turned to them with a beam. “Hello, I am Rebecca, it’s nice to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you.” She turned slightly and pointed to the tall man who was looking at them with amusement, a hand attending to the pasta cooking. “This is my husband Antoine, and welcome to Québec,” she finished with a thick accent. 

“ _ Enchantée de vous rencontrer _ ,” started Kyne, as Kiara barely kept inside a laugh by biting the inside of her mouth. The Ontarian noticed it and swiftly punched the tall woman’s arm, making Kiara groan in pain, rubbing her own upper arm. “I told you to  _ not _ laugh at my accent,” angrily mumbled Kyne, as Kiara simply huffed, pushing her towards the dining room instead. 

As Kiara exited the kitchen area by pushing on her soulmate lightly to make her go faster, she caught a few bits of her parents’ conversation. “Are they always that violent with each other? Isn’t that like the first time they met?” wondered Antoine, his tone surprised. 

“I think they like each other,  _ chéri _ ,” merely answered Rebecca, her voice sounding amused to Kiara’s ears. 

“They’re hitting themselves.”

Her father seemed absolutely flabbergasted by their relationship and honestly, Kiara couldn’t blame him at all. It was really out of character for her. But Kyne made her access different parts of herself that she didn’t know she had. Including the teasing, flirty one. But also the angry one, at times. 

“Tough love exists,” concluded her mother, as Kiara was out of range to hear anything else. 

* * *

Dinner went better than the French Canadian had expected, though she wasn’t really sure what  _ she _ had been expecting. Her parents got along well with Kyne, their mismatch of their respective first languages more endearing than anything else - they all made an effort to understand the others, and it was all Kiara could have wanted. 

Most of the questions directed at Kyne were about school, and what she would do now that she had graduated. Kiara didn’t even know - it wasn’t like they had plenty of conversations in the last few days, and they had years to cover. They definitely didn’t start with university. When Kyne merely said she had already accepted an offer to continue to the masters program, Kiara felt a sharp pang in her chest. She wasn’t stupid, she knew they weren’t living in the same city, much less province. But now that they had graduated and that they were talking, the Québécoise had absurdly thought they could be together all the time. Take the summer to find a place they liked, get a job, and just enjoy their time together as winter would inevitably come sooner rather than later as it always did in Canada. 

Did… Did she naively think Kyne would drop everything back home to come to Québec? Kiara grimaced inwardly at the idea. If anything, it would be  _ her _ that should move - she had nothing planned, and still lived with her parents. Would she even move to Kitchener-Waterloo? Would they survive a long-distance relationship? This was giving her a headache of massive proportions. 

“Kiki?”

The tall woman jumped out of her thoughts, barely processing that Kyne had used her typical nickname for the first time. She turned to her soulmate, seeing the worry clear in her dark eyes, even with her neutral features. “Yeah?” She asked, not willing to assume anything. 

“I asked if you could help me translate something, but I think your parents got it, anyway. What’s up with you, though? You okay?” Kiara smiled at the concern she could feel radiating from the other, and how she was looking at her expectedly. She nodded, not wanting to worry anyone. 

It seemed to work, as after a few seconds of silence, her father continued with his story in French, slowly - something about how Kiara had no complex when she was a kid, and how she used to flash people inadvertently. The Québécoise threw her spoon at her father, swearing so intensely even her mother laughed. Much to Kiara’s despair, the smirk on Kyne’s face told her she understood enough with Antoine’s slow tone and his hand gestures to pick up the story. She blushed wildly, hiding her face in her palms in shame. 

Finally, scratch that, dinner was a fail - she wouldn’t survive it. 

* * *

Kiara  _ did _ survive the dinner, but only to die shortly afterwards. 

Okay, she was exaggerating, but both her parents had basically assumed they’d sleep in the same room, in the same bed, and kept making innuendoes of it and  _ she was drowning _ . Kyne, that stupid traitor, seemed to find it pretty funny at first, until she was in Kiara’s room and realized that it was happening. Then,  _ and only then _ , her arrogant smirk somewhat faltered. 

“I’m not sleeping with you,” started Kyne with a deadpan voice. 

“Relax, it’s just a bed, I’m not saying we’re gonna do stuff or anything!” 

Kyne had a shocked expression etched on her features, her voice suddenly much more high-pitched than usual. “Get your mind out of the gutter! I was talking about  _ sleeping! _ I’m not sleeping in your bed,” she insisted, crossing her arms. 

Kiara frowned. What was the problem? They were soulmates; and besides she used to sleep all the time with Rita and her other friends. Why couldn’t she do the same with Kyne? She had waited years to just have the chance to cuddle with her, she wasn’t letting that go - especially since they’d probably be stuck in a long-distance relationship. Unless Kyne was  _ afraid _ of something happening? Was she scared she couldn’t  _ control _ the cuddles, or herself? Kiara instantly smirked, amused by the thought of it. 

“Stop smirking! In fact, stop thinking about anything related to that!” Kyne was flailing her hands around, but finally settled down for harshly pushing Kiara in the shoulder, making the taller one groan in pain for a second. “I just - I…” 

“Come on, you can tell me, I won’t judge you. I’m sorry,  _ mon amour _ .” 

It seemed to work, as the older sighed, a hand raking through her long pale brown hair, a blush still prominent on her cheeks. “I just don’t wanna do anything wrong, we just met. I wanna be a gentleman... gentlewoman. Whatever.” 

Kiara smiled at the earnestness of her soulmate, it was adorable. “Technically, we met years ago…” she stopped when she heard the groan of despair from the other girl, muffled as Kyne had her head down her hoodie. “But I understand. If you feel more comfortable sleeping alone, we have a guest room down the hall. I won’t be mad about it, but just so you know - I just wanted cuddles. I’m used to sleeping with my friends, so I was simply surprised by your reaction.” Kiara stretched lightly, feeling her bones pop slightly. “My parents leave tomorrow afternoon, anyway. So you won’t have them question it if you go into the other room.” 

“Can we watch a movie before I leave for the guest room, at least?” 

Okay, Kyne was just endearingly adorable, and it felt so foreign for Kiara to witness the change from the firecracker she usually was that she just nodded. “We’re watching a Disney movie - in French, by the way.” 

“Why?” whined her soulmate, her head tilting on the side slightly. 

“You wanted to expand your French! Besides, I’ll put English subtitles -  _ and _ the songs sound better in French, you’ll see,” assured the Québécoise with a small smile. 

Kyne might have been whining at first, but she still enjoyed a good Disney movie - and the songs  _ did _ sound pretty in French, after all. Kiara was sure the other student would never admit it, but she saw her eyes twinkle at the screen. It was enough for her. 

* * *

The tall woman woke up abruptly, gasping for breath. Confused, she looked at her phone, seeing how it was only 2 in the morning. Kiara sighed. She felt cold, had a shitty dream, and what’s more, she highly disliked sleeping alone. Whenever a friend was around, she almost forced them to sleep next to her. They didn’t need to hold her or anything - just their presence was comforting. The brunette rubbed off the sleep from her eyes, yawning slightly. Kiara knew she wasn’t going back to sleep that easily. Unless… 

She bit down on her lip slightly, playing with it until she tasted blood in her mouth. Kiara respected Kyne’s wish of sleeping alone - even if she wasn’t sure if it was because the older one disliked sleeping with people or because she was afraid of  _ things _ happening. Kiara hadn’t asked. Now, she kind of regretted it. 

How mad would Kyne get if she sneaked into her bed? Kiara spent what felt like hours fixating her ceiling like it had the answers she was looking for.  _ Fuck it _ , she thought. Worse case scenario, she’d sleep on the ground next to Kyne. It was whatever. 

Honestly, Kiara was sure she was pretty sneaky, but the second she closed the door she was met with a bright light riveted on her face and she whimpered, her hands instantly trying to protect her poor eyes. “What are you doing here!” hissed Kyne in a low voice, still having mercy and turning off the light of her phone. 

“I just… I have trouble sleeping alone. I didn’t want to tell you because I respect your decision to sleep alone, but I wasn’t alright back there when you’re here instead,” murmured the French Canadian softly, playing with her fingers anxiously. 

“Wait, what do you do when you’re all alone then?” 

“I FaceTime my friends until I fall asleep. Usually, with Rita or Lemon, because they have no concept of a normal sleep schedule so they can let me fall asleep and then turn off the conversation a few hours later,” admitted Kiara. “And I hear you in my head in the mornings because you wake up earlier than me. So I’m never really alone.” 

She clearly saw Kyne’s traits soften instantly at her admission, even in the near darkness of the room. “Aren’t your parents coming to check in the morning? Here or your room?” 

Kiara shrugged. “They usually don’t, but even if they do - they already think we’re going to be in my room sharing my bed. So does it matter?” 

“I guess not,” mumbled Kyne, barely keeping in a yawn. “You can stay. Next time, tell me if you’re going to be miserable without me, okay?” 

Kiara nodded eagerly, sliding into the bed next to her soulmate who had pulled back the covers for her. She instantly felt better, but kept on her side of the bed, not wanting to disturb the other further. She felt more than she heard the irritated sigh of Kyne, and a few seconds after, a warmth surrounded her. Kiara realized with surprise that the other had just scooted up until they were back to back. She smiled at such a little attention that meant so much to her, falling asleep to the soft breathing pattern of her soulmate near her.

* * *

“Stop looking so guilty, we didn’t do anything!” grunted Kiara, as Kyne was just looking down at her plate and avoiding all eye contact with either her or her parents. 

“I can’t help it!”

“Then do something because it  _ looks _ like we did something when we both know we didn’t!” 

Fortunately, they were interrupted by Kiara’s parents just telling them they were going to finish their suitcases to leave in about an hour. Both Antoine and Rebecca were smirking at their daughter and her soulmate, but didn’t say more, merely wishing them a pleasant stay while they were away. 

Honestly, Kiara only wished Kyne would relax now that her parents weren’t there anymore. Okay, she also wished they could have some more time alone to talk but it could wait for a few days. Right?

* * *

Turns out, a few days was more like two whole weeks. Kiara had waited patiently, feeling Kyne retract into her head, but never wanting to rush her. She knew the Ontarian would only lash out and thus, kept silent. But two weeks? She was at her wit’s end, as she usually found herself to be when she tread with anything related to Kyne. 

She  _ knew _ Kyne had struggled with how hot and cold she was acting towards her, how she was scared of intimacy and wanted control over things, soulmate included. Kiara also knew the math major was making progress, but since her parents had left, Kyne had become even more distant. Yes, they spent all their time together, sometimes with Kiara’s friends, and they still slept in the same bed, in Kiara’s room. But it felt like Kyne was farther from her now being here, than when she was in her hometown back in Ontario. 

“Stop pushing me away,” finally blurted out Kiara in a firm voice, not betraying her inner turmoil. 

Kyne stopped reading her article to observe the taller one with surprise nestled deep in her dark brown eyes. “I’m not, we’re friends, we’re always together!” she finally justified with a rising voice. Honestly, Kiara should have gotten the message: Kyne was already on edge, it wasn’t a good idea to push,  _ but _ she was tired trying to get closer to the one who held her heart hostage and didn’t even seem to care about it. 

“You are, stop lying. We’re not just friends, and you know that,” Kiara sighed, crossing her arms to protect herself. “We’re barely friends. Thanks to you, by the way,” she finally snapped. 

“Don’t put all the blame on me!” 

“Do you even know how much it fucking hurts to know that you don’t love me like I love you? And yet I’m still here trying to at least be friends with you so it’s easier  _ for you! _ ” 

Kyne dropped her phone at this, the smartphone falling on ground forgotten, neither girls noticing. They were fixating each other, trying to guess what was happening at the very moment. It felt like a dam, slightly broken, ready to explode and swallow the world. “You… you love me?”

Kiara almost screamed out loud, instead choosing to pace in front of the other and bit at her nails angrily. How goddamn dense could Kyne get? The dam broke. 

“Yes! Yes, I’m in love with you!  _ Es-tu complètement conne? _ You’re the most arrogant, temperamental, smartass, stubborn person I have ever met, and yet, I can’t help but love you,” the Québécoise finished in a murmur, tears on the verge of falling from her pale brown eyes. 

“How could you even love someone like me,” mumbled Kyne - and it wasn’t even a question. It was just a statement, like she believed it anyway, no matter what Kiara would say. 

“You’re my soulmate!” shouted Kiara, gesturing wildly with her arms in despair, her tears finally falling freely on her high cheekbones. “What am I supposed to do?!” 

She realized a moment too late how this was the  _ worst  _ possible thing she could have said but Kiara was just exhausted trying to juggle between her deepening love for Kyne and the other’s mood swings. Kiara saw the already dark eyes of Kyne darken even more, turning obsidian, her jaw tightly shut and her eyebrows narrowing dangerously. 

“So this is what's about? You’re blinded by a stupid fucking fate thing?!” 

“Well,  _ I _ didn’t choose destiny, I'm stuck with you Kyne!” 

The smaller one recoiled back, gasping soundlessly. She looked exactly like if she had gotten stuck down with a weapon and left to bleed out. Kiara grimaced inwardly, her anger forgotten for a second. She didn’t mean to say that, of course she  _ wanted _ Kyne.  _ Oh non _ … 

“Don’t worry, I can get out of your way like I did before,” assured Kyne, recklessly grabbing her bag and hoodie, already heading for the door. “I knew this was a mistake.” 

“ _ Attends!  _ Kyne!” 

But her plea was met by the door being brutally slammed as Kyne left her house. 


	2. You love me deep, but I'm incomplete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was dumb, but she wasn’t that dumb - Kyne had realized that she was going back into her typical patterns of isolation lately. The more Kiara was sweet and got closer, the more she would retract into her shell. Nevertheless, she tried to keep the illusion of everything being somewhat okay anyways, hoping that Kiara would buy it - and the Québécoise didn’t. She seemed to have a talent to decipher Kyne, even when she wasn’t uttering a single word. Even when Kyne herself didn’t exactly understand what she was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/Hi, welcome to the second chapter of this work!  
> Happy Halloween (Spooky Day) to everyone!! Stay safe, eat lots of candy and watch horror movies online with your friends ❤️  
> As usual, I hope y'all will enjoy this update.  
> I was surprised by the response of the first chapter, apparently more people liked it than I expected!  
> Give me your thoughts after reading, it's always fun to watch!

_“You’re my soulmate!”_

_“What am I supposed to do?!”_

Kyne harshly pushed back down the tears that were accumulating at the corners of her dark eyes. Everything had been going well, where had she failed along the way? She was sure Kiara was happy, that _they_ were happy. Apparently not, as the words shouted by the taller one were still playing on her mind like a loop. 

_“I’m stuck with you Kyne!”_

How could she have been so naïve to think it would all go well, especially after three years of them bickering - and that following years of _her_ ignoring Kiara? 

She felt intimidated by the rapidly growing intimacy between them, without either of them making a conscious effort towards it. It happened, just like that. One day they were more of less strangers, and a few days later, they were sharing a bed and having stupid inside jokes. Kyne had never seen it coming, and it had it hit like if she ran into a brick wall. 

Kyne was terrified by the fact that she, herself, was deeply inexperienced with human contact, love relationships - she had always ignored everyone around her, curled up on herself, almost hissing at anything that came too close to her heart. That included Kiara, for the longest amount of time. She always lived like this, with a distance from everyone, and she was convinced that she was at ease with it, the distance, _the loneliness_. But after more than two weeks constantly with Kiara, she realized how much she needed the other girl - and it scared her shitless. 

She was dumb, but she wasn’t _that_ dumb - Kyne had realized that she was going back into her typical patterns of isolation lately. The more Kiara was sweet and got closer, the more she would retract into her shell. Nevertheless, she tried to keep the illusion of everything being somewhat okay anyways, hoping that Kiara would buy it - and the Québécoise didn’t. She seemed to have a talent to decipher Kyne, even when she wasn’t uttering a single word. Even when Kyne herself didn’t exactly understand what she was doing. 

Kiara also had the worst timing with words in the entire history of the world. Kyne could tell she always wanted to make things better, but she just never seemed to say the right thing at the right time. It was weird, considering how much overthinking the younger seemed to be doing all day - that, and her obvious connections to her feelings and those of others. 

_“Do you even know how much it fucking hurts to know that you don’t love me like I love you?”_

Kyne felt a burning trail of tears stain her cheek, finally falling free as the Filipina broke down. 

* * *

Kyne didn’t know how long she stayed like that, her knees up to her chin, her head in-between them, softly weeping after the first few minutes of loud sobbing. She didn’t know where she was. She had her phone with her, but it wasn’t charged, and the battery was at less than 10%. Everywhere she looked, things were in _French_ , people spoke in _French_ , and while she could understand it, her brain wasn’t in a place where she could as easily translate it. 

The small girl tried to gather herself back together. She needed to calm down, clear the mist reigning free in her brain. It was late a night, in a city she didn’t know. Her phone had little to no charge, and she needed to find shelter for the night - because she wasn’t going back to Kiara’s. She was far too stubborn for it, and the Québécoise hadn’t followed her anyway. 

Now that she was thinking about it, she had involuntarily blocked her thoughts to her soulmate. Good. At least the other wouldn’t be able to contact her. In this state, she would be a mess. They both would be. They needed some distance, for now. 

...Was Kyne making the decision for both of them, _again_? Maybe. But like they said: old habits die hard. 

Kyne picked up her phone, opening Maps, and completely disregarded the missed calls and texts she had. She instead found directions for the nearest hotel, and wished for the best. At this point, she just needed a bit of luck. 

* * *

Three shots later, Kyne realized that it _might_ have been easier to book a room before starting to drink her pain away at a messy bar counter. She had brushed off anyone that came close to her - mostly straight guys - and had finally some peace. The bartender was looking at her with pity in his eyes, and she dropped her head down, not wanting to witness it any longer. So what if she was a mess? She wanted to forget, she wanted everything to be magically fixed so she could go sleep with Kiara and hear her mumble random things in her sleep like she always did. Ugh. 

“Rough night?” asked a toneless voice, belonging to a nearby woman, sipping on a glass of red wine. Who in their right mind ordered red wine at a random hotel bar? God. She was way too fancy for this place, to have a talk with a mess like this. 

“I don’t wanna talk,” grumbled Kyne, hoping the blonde would get the message and just leave her in peace to dwell on the errors she made. 

“Soulmate problems? I’m told I’m a very good listener. Maybe a bit less in English, but hey. I’m not tipsy yet so I’ll probably get it. Come on, Kyne.” 

This made her raise her head way too quickly and she whined lowly, the world spinning around her. Kyne came face to face with one of Kiara’s friends, the blonde businesswoman. Kiara had told her how they would get along solely based on their neutral expressions and how intense they could get at times - though the resemblances ended there. “Rita? What are you doing here?” 

“Drinking...? You’re not the only one who needs to drown your sorrows, _mon ange_.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Rita sighed and downed the rest of her glass, harshly putting it back down on the counter. “Long story short, I’m in love with my soulmate; and it’s not reciprocal. Also, I may or may not like a stupid clown asshole instead. Now, I’d rather that didn’t happen to Kiki as well, so if you could stop being a dumbass, it would be great.” 

Kyne instantly bristled at this. “I _do_ love Kiara, what are you talking about!” 

“Well, you have a weird way of showing it…” drawled Rita, her finger making soft circles on the top of her empty glass of wine, not even looking at her. “If you love her, why don’t you _do_ something? I mean, if I had that chance, I would have taken it. You, on the other hand… you have it and just disregard it. You’re lucky Kiki is loyal to you even when you act like a child.” 

Kyne slammed her hand down the bar counter, anger pooling in her darkened eyes. “Who do you even think you are, talking to me like that?!” 

“Kiki’s my younger sister - I’m looking out for her. If I have to pick your brain apart and rebuilt it to make you understand how precious she is - how precious what you two have is - then, I will,” vowed Rita, her voice dropping lower, full of thinly veiled menace. “Do you understand?”

Kyne, flabbergasted, could only nod, her anger flaring out at the dangerous aura she felt emerging from the older woman. “Good. Now here's what's gonna happen. You’re gonna finish your stupid shots, and I’m gonna call Kiki, she’ll pick you up. You’re gonna go with her, act like a _gentlewoman_ , and then, tomorrow, you’ll explain why you have been behaving like a child all along. I promise, she will also come clean about any mistakes she made, too. She isn’t that stubborn. Nothing like you, at least.” 

Rita paused for a few seconds, her gaze never wavering in intensity. “Am I making myself clear?” When Kyne only nodded wordlessly for the second time, Rita tilted her head slightly, a smirk etched on her lips. “Use your words, _mon ange_.” 

“Yes, I understand,” the Ontarian finally said through gritted teeth, her pride deeply injured. 

“ _Bon, c’est parfait tout ça alors!_ I’ll go call her. Have a good night, Kyne.” On this, the blonde left a bill to pay for her drink on the counter, nodded to the bartender and left towards the exit. 

Kyne groaned, recklessly swallowing the last two shots. How in the world had Rita even found her? Was it just a coincidence? She felt warm, her cheeks were burning hot, and her head was still spinning. Well, that was uncomfortable. Though, right now, seeing Kiara didn’t sound too bad.

* * *

About thirty minutes later, as Kyne was almost falling asleep at the bar counter, she felt a warm body softly hugging her from behind. She had the reflex of panicking, at first, but realized quickly that the sweet perfume and warmth belonged to the only one who made her act so crazy all the time. She softened almost instantly, letting the other stay in place, even going as far as to link their fingers together hesitantly, happy when Kiara squeezed them back without hesitation. “Thank you for coming to pick me up,” she finally said in a quiet, toned down voice. 

“I was so worried when Rita called. You know I wouldn’t let you be lost here without me.” 

“I know. Thank you.” 

Kyne turned inside the hug and smiled sadly at the still worried traits she saw on her soulmate’s face. She wanted to ease her pain, to ease her suffering - one that _she_ had caused. Her heart was beating fast, faster than she had expected, but she still felt at peace. This was usually what happened whenever she was near Kiara. 

It was also during those little times that she realized how pleasant having your soulmate near you actually was. 

_“If you love her, why don’t you do something?”_

Rita’s words were running inside her mind, echoing endlessly. The stern blonde was right, even if she would rather damn herself than admit it out loud. She should do something, no? Blame her alcohol consumption, and her clouded mind, but she _wanted_ her now, she wanted it, she could worry later like she always did. Kiara was right in front of her, looking all pretty in her university hoodie and her dark brown hair tied up in a small braid she wore over one shoulder. Her hazel eyes were full of affection and care _for her_ , and Kyne could even see a soft blush tinting her cheeks. How had she been blessed by having such a beautiful soulmate, both inside and outside? 

Without even realizing, she had moved a bit more into the embrace, her hand coming to rest on Kiara’s cheek softly, her thumb grazing lazily at her jaw. Kyne felt it twitch underneath her fingers, amazed by the kind of reactions she got out of the younger one. She moved Kiara’s face out of the way slightly, her lips coming to brush on the delicate skin of Kiara’s neck. She felt more than she heard the surprised gasp of the other and smirked. Kyne noticed the shiver running through her soulmate and was deeply pleased by it. She even dared to drag her teeth along the pulse point teasingly, just short of biting, before she sensed Kiara moving back from it a bit. Her hazel eyes were wide, but had darkened enough for Kyne to see the effects of her actions. 

“Kyne, what are you doing?” 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m making a move,” she grinned, bringing the tall girl’s face down, always closer, their noses grazing tenderly. They had never been this close, where she could feel Kiara’s breath on her lips, she could feel everything, and it was making her be incapable of any rational decisions. She wanted this, she wanted this _now_ , she had dreamed about it, and now it was her chance. 

“Behave,” sternly threatened a crimson-looking Kiara, even with the waver in her voice, telling Kyne about how affected she actually was. Feeling smug, the smaller one let her hands move down the sides of her soulmate, the liquid courage in her veins driving her every movement. 

“Make me,” she chided back, highly amused by the way Kiara’s jaw had almost fallen to the ground and how she seemed to painfully hold back. “I know you want me,” Kyne added, simply for the thrill of it, and with Kiara keeping her strongly against the bar counter, her knuckles turning white under the pressure, she knew she had succeeded. Smirking, she gripped Kiara’s hips, bringing her even closer, if it was possible. One of her hands instantly wandered back to the girl’s braided hair, lightly scratching at the nape of her neck, which made the other sigh hotly against her neck. She wanted this. _Now_. 

For once, she felt _good_ , she wasn’t thinking with her stupid brain desperate for control and it felt liberating. She wanted Kiara to take the control away from her, even if only for a night - and she knew damn well that the other wanted it too. She had seen the stares, the sneaking peeks, she wasn’t stupid. “ _Je sais que toi aussi, tu veux_ …” 

Kyne was aware that she was playing downright dirty, but her brain wasn’t even making sense anymore, in either languages. It was only aware of how close they were, how pleasing their embrace felt, and how she wanted more, more, more. 

This seemingly had the effect of making the half-lidded Kiara come down to Earth and just shake her head, probably shaking off the lusty ideas she had. “Okaaaaaay, you definitely had too much to drink, let’s go home.” With this, Kiara simply took her hand and practically dragged her towards her car. 

“I’m cold,” whined Kyne, her hands rubbing at her forearms aimlessly trying to gather more heat. The bar at the hotel had been warm, on the verge of unbearable, but outside, it felt colder, even for a summer night. Kiara only sighed, throwing her university hoodie at her chest, and unlocked her car so they could get home. 

Kyne smiled at the attention, instantly bringing the hoodie closer to her - both its scent and lingering warmth reassuring. She quickly threw it on as she fumbled with the seatbelt, and nestled against the window, letting Kiara take care of the rest. She could hear the radio playing quietly in the background - no Spotify or CD playing right now. Only the soft hum of the French music and voices she wasn’t so sure she could understand all. Not in her state, at least. She felt it lull her to sleep and let go, trusting her soulmate to take them home safely.

* * *

She woke up feeling disoriented, first and foremost. Then the headache hit her like a train going at full speed, and she groaned. The sun was already out and Kyne had questions, lots of them. What time was it? How did she get into Kiara’s bed? Did Kiara pick her up and drag her here? That was hot. It was also too early and _hot_ outside to think about that now. She threw the blankets off her in a hurry, already feeling the humid air in the room get to her. But she was also scared, for half a second, before she realized she was still wearing Kiara’s red and gold hoodie and was absolutely not naked. Glad to know at least Kiara had some self-control, unlike her drunk self. She sighed, a hand coming down to protect her eyes from the overwhelming light entering the room, and fell back on the bed, making pained noises. 

“Are you always this dramatic when you wake up from a hangover?” 

Kiara had made her way into the room without her noticing anything, and it startled her a little. She also whined softly, her soulmate’s voice way too loud for her still tender head. “I’m not dramatic,” she mumbled, slowly removing her palm from her dark eyes, adjusting little by little. She wordlessly took the pills Kiara gave her with a gulp of water and groaned, falling back for the third time on the mattress. 

“I’d argue about it, but you seem to be in enough pain right now. Do you wanna try to get some sleep again?” 

“I’ll go take a shower, I don’t think I can fall back asleep.” 

“Okay, try to not fall in the shower or something. I’ll start some food, come help me afterwards,” Kiara asked softly, moving towards the door to head downstairs. 

“Wait! Why did you let me sleep in your hoodie? It’s super hot outside,” questioned Kyne. She saw the amused smirk of Kiara and knew instantly that the answer was going to make her flush crimson. 

“I tried. You were clutching it like a kid to its mother. I figured you could live until next morning,” shrugged the other girl, even daring to wink playfully at the older one. “If you like it so much, you can keep it!” 

On this, Kiara quickly escaped the room, leaving Kyne to blush alone in the middle of the large bed. 

She still wasn’t taking it off, especially now since the other brunette had proposed she kept it. 

* * *

About half an hour later, she made her way downstairs, feeling relatively better, the throbbing in her head having stopped. Sneakily, Kyne jumped on the counter and watched the tall girl work on what seemingly was pancakes. She loved those. Did Kiara even know? 

“I love pancakes!” 

“I know, that’s why I’m making them, _amour_ ,” chuckled the younger one, her hazel eyes falling on her with a softness barely hidden in them. “It’ll help the hangover, I promise.” 

Kyne smiled at her kindness, and their silence was comfortable, even with the events of last night. It seemed like neither of them would try to break the comfortable status quo for the moment, at least. The Ontarian still felt the overbearing need to explain herself and make things work. She owed it to her soulmate. “Kiki?” 

When she barely got a hum for an answer, she continued. “Rita is scary.” 

“Yes, she usually is. She is super protective of me and Lemon. I’m sorry if she said things that were out of line, last night,” mumbled Kiara, her hand moving to quickly turn the pancakes cooking, barely looking at them. It seemed like she was quite used to making them. 

“I’m scared of her.” 

Kiara laughed heartily at this. “We’ve all been there. She’ll probably adopt you in a few weeks.” 

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“I know her.” Kiara’s eyes were twinkling with mirth, and Kyne decided to not push the issue further. She was pretty sure Rita would never “adopt” her, she was barely worthy of being her friend after all the things she did to Kiara. 

“Can you get the plates from there, please?” 

Kyne nodded, raising herself on her tiptoes to actually get them. She felt her hoodie rise up in the process, and Kiara’s eyes almost boring a hole into her back. Almost against her will, she grinned, amused. She remembered a few parts of last night, one of them being her who had mercilessly teased the taller one, and honestly? She had no regrets on that one, except perhaps not kissing her. But it wouldn’t have been right to have their first kiss just after a huge fight when they didn’t even explain themselves. And, when she was drunk. 

As Kyne was grabbing some glasses to go with the plates, she felt the warm hands of Kiara leaving a searing trail on her uncovered back, one of her hands passing above her head to get another plate, this time for the pancakes stack. The other was casually nestled on the small of her back, and she might have imagined it, but she felt the light caress of Kiara’s long fingers along her spine, while she was backing away with a knowing smirk. Kyne shivered, but she didn’t know if it was the touches, the smirk or the want in the hazel eyes that made it happen. 

Kiara was acting as if nothing about last night had happened, except how flirty she got whenever she was drunk. Was it a good thing or a bad thing? Kyne wasn’t sure. But she knew she needed to solve it, she couldn’t let it hang in the air like that - it would come back. She needed to do better and explain herself. Also, it probably was the time for her to just own up her feelings for once, no matter how scary they were. 

“I’m sorry I acted like a child last night,” she finally mumbled, as they were sitting at the table to eat. Kiara looked at her curiously, a flawless eyebrow raised in question. She took a few bites before answering in a meek voice, unlike any tone Kyne had heard from her before. 

“It’s okay, I can’t keep expecting you to fall in love with me, regardless of the soulmate thing. It shouldn’t be a crutch. I won’t pressure you anymore, I’m fine being friends, too. Also, regardless of what Rita told you last night, it’s _fine_ , I’m fine. She’s just pressed with her own soulmate agenda,” finished the girl with a chuckle. 

Kyne sighed, a hand coming to rake through her hair anxiously. This was more difficult than she had envisioned. “No, Kiki, you don’t understand: I _love_ you too.”

Kyne didn’t know what she had predicted for this part - maybe that the Québécoise would jump on her and kiss her, maybe leave her speechless - but she had never expected the younger one to harshly cut her hand while she finally admitted her stupid feelings and talked with her heart and not head, for once. 

She guessed breakfast was out of question, now, as Kyne had rushed to put pressure on her soulmate’s hand that was free bleeding all over the table, floor, and yes, the pancakes as well. 


	3. I don't have to tell you, you've got my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For the rest, I’ll leave you in your girlfriend’s care.” 
> 
> “Oh, we’re not -”
> 
> “We’re not a couple,” meekly answered Kyne with the best deadpan expression she could muster - and it was Kyne. So it was a pretty good one. 
> 
> Not that it mattered much, as the doctor had already vacated the premises, leaving them to stand there awkwardly for a second. Kiara wanted to scream. She wasn’t blind, she knew they were acting like two people in love, two people in a relationship, they just were unable to talk about their stupid issues like regular soulmates. Weren’t they supposedly made for each other? Apparently, yes - and Kiara definitely believed in their chemistry, that was putting it lightly. But they also had so many misunderstandings that Kiara was wondering where someone had decided putting them inside each other’s minds was a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour/Hi, I'm back with the new chapter! This one took a moment, because it was a weird week, huh? Also, it's over 6k, so I had to go over it a few times to change some of the stuff here and there, since I wrote most of it in a sleepy haze. Hope y'all enjoy this chapter, only one left after! Will be weird to leave these two behind... (just kidding, I have new stories in mind with them, just not in this universe). 
> 
> And since I always forget to mention, this entire work comes from the inspiration I got from Heart in Chains by Kate Voegele, I love that song - so give it a listen as you read.❤️  
> I also changed the name of the series because I love that song and I'm surprised I didn't think about it earlier, tbh, it makes sense with the narrative I'm going with this story.
> 
> Anyways, onwards to reading!! As usual, leave me kudos and comments because I love reading them!

“You’re so lucky we’re Canadians and it’s free! How did you even live to your twenties? Fuck, you should have told me sooner of how clumsy you were, I would have gone into med school instead of math! I had the grades for it anyway!” 

Kiara watched as Kyne paced around her, a small smile lurking on her lips, even with the throbbing pain she felt from her injured hand. She had undergone a pretty intense roller coaster in the last few days, between feeling constantly angry at Kyne for the way she had acted distant, their fight, and _then_ , the overwhelming worry. Followed by Kyne coming around and just _teasing_ the shit out of her, and Kiara had barely resisted the girl when she had kissed her neck so slowly - and the words she said. _God_ . Kiara had been a goner the moment French was used against her. She still wasn’t sure how she had managed to back off, get them home safely, and sleep without jumping on her soulmate. She wasn’t sure what she had expected for their morning, and while she thought they _might_ brush the subject of their fight, she definitely didn’t think Kyne would admit loving her, too. The overthinking part of her brain questioned this - only to be challenged by her heart, who wanted to _believe_. 

Unlike her, Kyne hadn’t changed before they headed for the hospital - she was still in Kiara’s own university hoodie, had the shortest pink pajama shorts Kiara had ever seen, and a large part of her was happy she was so much taller than her soulmate - her hoodie was effectively falling well-below the middle of her thighs. A smaller part of her brain, apparently who was in charge of her eyesight, seemed to disagree with the aforementioned hoodie, though. Even if she liked to see her clothes on the Filipina. Absentmindedly, Kiara bit her lip softly, not really saying anything. 

The Québécoise didn’t particularly enjoy hospitals, but with Kyne around, it felt less scary - and she was more relaxed. That was good, considering that she also _despised_ needles and had to get stitches because of the deep cut on her palm. Kiara had whined lowly, turning her head away from the needles in disgust. Fortunately, Kyne had seemingly picked up on this, and just came closer to hold her other hand, her small fingers also brushing against her cheek, forcing her to watch Kyne and only her instead of the working nurse. 

Now, she had to wait to be discharged by a doctor - which left her with Kyne pacing around the small consultation office like a madwoman. She abruptly stopped in front of Kiara, her hands raising to the sky in anger, before settling on her hips. 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?!” 

Kiara’s brain wasn’t exactly functioning to its fullest, maybe because of the needles or _maybe_ because of Kyne’s admission, but her mouth started running anyway. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” she started, hearing Kyne scoff in pure disbelief, but still seeing her cheeks redden a bit. “I’m lucky you’re here to take care of me, _mon amour_.” 

Kiara was about to teasingly poke at Kyne’s sudden blush at her mushy tone, but the doctor opened the door at the very same moment, breaking her momentum. She took a quick look at her file, and smiled at the two girls waiting. 

“You were lucky, miss Schatzi. The cut wasn’t deep enough to warrant surgery. You’ll need to avoid using it for a few days, the stitches will fall off by themselves. It’ll probably be tender for a while, and I’m prescribing something to help with that, if necessary. For the rest, I’ll leave you in your girlfriend’s care.” 

“Oh, we’re not -”

“We’re not a couple,” meekly answered Kyne with the best deadpan expression she could muster - and it was _Kyne_. So it was a pretty good one. 

Not that it mattered much, as the doctor had already vacated the premises, leaving them to stand there awkwardly for a second. Kiara wanted to scream. She wasn’t blind, she _knew_ they were acting like two people in love, two people in a relationship, they just were unable to talk about their stupid issues like regular soulmates. Weren’t they supposedly made for each other? Apparently, yes - and Kiara definitely believed in their chemistry, that was putting it lightly. But they also had so many misunderstandings that Kiara was wondering where someone had decided putting them inside each other’s minds was a good idea. 

* * *

When they arrived home, after picking up Kiara’s prescription in case she’d need it, Kyne had put her soulmate in a “ _you’re not doing anything_ ” position, forcing her into watching a movie on the couch while she actually cleaned all the blood and pancakes remaining from earlier. Kiara had argued that she wasn’t useless, she could still help, but Kyne wasn’t the most stubborn person she had ever met in her entire life for nothing. Sometimes, it was endearing, like right now, but most of the time it was just exhausting. Regardless of that, she still appreciated having the Ontarian around, especially since her parents were not due to come home for a while still. Kiara knew her parents usually took between four and eight week of vacation every summer, so she wasn’t too worried. It had only been three weeks so far, and when she had called them earlier that week, they didn’t seem too keen on coming home soon. 

It was fine by Kiara, it meant she had the whole place to herself with her soulmate. Or, better stated, to fix things up with her soulmate before summer would inevitably end and they’d have to separate for God knows how long. Just thinking about it made her heart beat painfully against her ribs, and the computer science major groaned in pain. 

The taller brunette was surprised, when she opened her eyes a few seconds later, to see Kyne kneeling in front of her, a worried expression etched on her usually neutral features. “Are you alright?”

Kiara smiled softly, and nodded, assuring the other that she wasn’t in pain - at least, from her hand. “I just thought about... things and it hurt me a bit,” she instead revealed.

Kyne seemed to hesitate, her hands still carefully holding the other’s knees for safety. Kiara felt the pleasant warmth from her palms seeping into her skin and waited for the Filipina to vocalize her thoughts. “What about those thoughts?” 

“I… Did you really mean that, earlier?” 

“What part?” Kyne seemed confused, her eyebrows furrowing a bit. Her dark eyes were focused solely on her, and Kiara could have sworn she understood everything with just a gaze. But she needed to make sure. 

“You have feelings for me?” Kiara felt strangely uncovered, vulnerable even, but at the same time, she wasn’t really afraid of the older woman hurting her. It was a weird feeling to experience. 

“Of course I do?”

“Then why the whole thing last night?” 

Kyne sighed, putting her head down in her arms, on top of her soulmate’s lap. Kiara was startled to see some wetness accumulating in her obsidian eyes, and almost backed off for a moment. _Almost_ being the directing word. But they needed to have this conversation, if they wanted to have a relationship - regardless if it was only friendly or romantic. They needed to trust each other and actually communicate, especially when issues like these arose. Otherwise, the distance would absolutely shatter them. 

“You know I hate the thought of losing control, and even more to someone else. I never wanted a soulmate. I was just given one without my consent. I know you never were overbearing, and I thank you for it. But it was still rough for me, and even more lately to admit how much I needed your presence in my life.” Kyne exhaled roughly, not exactly sure where to go from there, her head digging more into her arms. “I was so scared when you cut your hand this morning. I’m sorry my... sudden declaration did that. But I can tell you something: I _do_ love you, and I trust you. I know we’ll be okay. We have to stick with each other. If you still want to…?”

Kiara had never heard Kyne speak so earnestly before, and instantly knew how deep her feelings for her were running. She was never among those believing the mathematician lacked emotions, she _knew_ the other felt them just as intensely as her, but instead chose to blatantly ignore them in favor of what Kyne called " _proper logic_ ”. Without really realizing, she had started playing with the other’s pale brown hair, unsure of what to even answer to all of it. “It’s fine if you don’t wanna answer, I under -” started Kyne with a tiny voice, the tears actually close to falling this time. Kiara couldn’t help but grab the other’s face, holding her cheeks kindly, her thumbs chasing at the teardrops. 

“Let’s go on a date. A real one. And before you ask, yes, I’m serious.” 

By the way Kyne’s eyes were shining, and the small smile making its way on her lips, Kiara knew she did say the right thing, for once. 

* * *

Kiara wasn’t exactly the most experienced in terms of first dates or just dating people in general - usually, people asked _her_ on a date, and sometimes she did entertain them, just because she enjoyed the attention. But she had never really dated anyone, and her friends were right: even if it was stupid, she had always held back, hoping that Kyne would come around and knowing no one would even compare to her. In the end, Kiara was glad she did - but right now, that meant she was navigating uncharted territory. Not only was it their first official date, _she_ was also the one that had asked, and she wanted it to go well, obviously. Cue the overthinking. 

That’s why Kiara had frantically texted all her friends, asking for advice - and she received a lot of contradicting opinions, not that she expected anything else coming from them. She decided to go with a very, very cliché first date thing - eating at one of her favorite places and then heading for a movie. Even she couldn't mess that up, right?

Well, turns out she absolutely could - and she could have spent hours in her room, alone, screaming in a pillow, if it wasn’t for the fact that her date actually lived with her for the time being. 

In her defense, Kiara really _tried_ , but it seemed like it was the most unlucky day of her life. She had been stressed and acting clumsy because of it, but with her hand still tightly bandaged, it was a whole other show altogether. She had been granted the right of moving it, and had her stitches fall off a few days after it happened, but it was still tender - and with her tendency to have her head in the clouds, Kiara preferred to keep it safe in a bandage.

But back to the date… First of all, the restaurant seemed like a fantastic idea and she absolutely loved that place - it wasn’t the fanciest around, but it had a nostalgic value to her that she just couldn’t shake off. Her own parents had met there years ago - and Kiara was a sucker for a cute romantic story. It just felt normal for her to bring her soulmate there, as a tradition. 

Well, it _would_ have been incredible if they could get inside the damn restaurant. Kiara had called a few days ago, yet, they seemed to have no records of her reservation - which would also have been fine, if it wasn’t a Saturday night, which meant a full house. She was already at the very limit of her patience, but unless they wanted to spend hours in line, they had to leave and actually do something else. Kiara thought that at least, she still had the cinema. 

_Wrong._

The movie Kiara had wanted to see for weeks now - and she had screamed about it to Kyne almost every day, officially hyping the older girl in the process - was officially off the lineup and she found herself pouting at the posted movies list. No other one was really that interesting to her - besides, they had arrived between the hours, meaning they would also have to wait if they still wanted to catch a random movie. Honestly, at that point, only a short amount of pride kept Kiara from sprawling on the floor and screaming endlessly in a very dramatic fashion. Kyne had merely laughed at her pouting face and the fact that she had been holding her hand all along was somehow making up for the whole disaster. 

That led Kiara to her last plan: just having a walk around, at this point. It was free, and especially _free of time constraints_ , so she was feeling pretty confident with that one. Plus, her city at night was beautiful, with the clear dark skies and impressive sights around. But the second they exited the cinema, she realized the new problem that was quite literally falling on her head, messing her dark hair.

Rain. Lots of it. It was pouring outside, and Kiara cursed her local weather application, as they never said it would actually rain that day. She was getting wet, she was aware, but at the same time, she kind of wasn’t exactly there either? It only took a push from Kyne to spur into action though, unlocking her car and groaning, angrily pushing back some hair strands that were stuck to her face, soaked by the rain. Her whole clothes were drenched, and she even had to remove her shoes to take out the water accumulated in the soles. It was silent for a moment, as she tied up her shoes, and she heard a sudden burst of laughter. She turned to see Kyne laughing out loud, a hand on her mouth barely keeping it in. 

“ _Wow, je suis contente que tu trouves ça drôle qu’on soit calissement détrempées_ ,” retorted Kiara, instantly turning back to French in her anger. 

“Kiki, relax. It’s just water; you’re so wound up! Besides, I’m not laughing because of that, I just think your expressions are hilarious, you look like the whole day was the worst time ever.” 

“Well, wasn’t it? I’m sorry it didn’t go well, I guess _que ça a tombé à l’eau_ , right?” 

Kyne was frowning for a second, obviously confused. “Falling at the water?” 

"Falling _into_ water _._ It’s an expression; it basically means something is falling short or being postponed, but because of the rain, it was just funny and on point” provided Kiara simply, her eyes closing, hearing the soft pit patter of the water on the windshield of her car. It was actually soothing, and Kyne being there also helped a lot. Especially since the older didn’t seem angry at all, she was still chuckling at her last joke. 

“It may have _tombé à l’eau_ , but it was still fun. I had alone time with the most beautiful girl around,” smirked Kyne, making her soulmate open her eyes in disbelief. 

“Shut up, dummy, you don’t mean that,” smiled Kiara, a slight blush making its way onto her traits at being called pretty by the one she thought was the most beautiful. . 

“I’m serious, you look beautiful even like this, some would look like ugly wet dogs, but not you,” started the Ontarian seriously, watching her intensely. “Besides, we can always have a makeover date. But time with you is precious, regardless of how weird a date goes.”

“Kyne, I -”

“Yeah, _yeah_ , but let me try my hand on a second first date, okay?” 

Kiara scoffed, and waved her hand around, watching her soulmate with amusement, finally starting her car to get home at last. “Fine, do what you want. I’m expecting to be amazed, though. No pressure.” 

* * *

Kiara was laughing just thinking about it. Fortunately, she had said “no pressure”. Because this had been a whole mess. 

A few days after their first date, Kyne had come to her, smirking wildly, telling her she had an idea for their “second first date”. The mathematician seemed so sure of herself, it was actually very attractive of her. Kiara had nevertheless a feeling that something would go wrong at some point - if only to make Kyne flush with anger like she had previously. Was she a sore loser? _Maybe_. 

The whole “first date” thing was turning really quickly into a stupid, childish competition between the two of them, and Kiara would be damned if she’d lose to her soulmate in her own goddamn city. She knew how competitive Kyne could get, and she absolutely had to step up her game for when the older girl inevitably failed.

Honestly, when the date had started, everything was fine. Kiara had to admit that Kyne did a nice job with the whole planning. It was a nice night outside, not searing hot like the days usually were in summer. It was the middle of the week, so the streets were busy but not too crowded either. Yes, it was only a walk in the historic part of her hometown, but it had a certain charm to it - and she couldn’t expect Kyne to know about every little thing of her city, anyway. 

Besides, they were walking with their fingers intertwined, and that simple fact made her heart go crazy inside her chest. It was nice to just be together, and to see Kyne trying to gather all the information she dropped about the streets, the restaurants, the sights. She saw the Ontarian trying to pronounce some of the words after her, with Kiara correcting her whenever it was needed - but she had to admit, Kyne was pretty good. Probably that stupid competitive and stubborn side that was useful for once. She found it endearing. 

It _would_ have been perfect - and Kiara would have “lost” the whole competition - but then, they were suddenly hijacked from their calm, romantic little walk by Kiara’s rowdy friends, also wandering the historic part of the city. And when a friend group was led by Priyanka and Lemon, you knew you were not going to have any peace.

Kiara knew it was _probably_ just random, but it still made her snigger, trying to hide it from a suddenly sullen Kyne. Against their will, they were dragged to the nearby gay bar and had to say goodbye to their “first second date” and their time alone. Kiara would have preferred to stay with her soulmate only, but she also loved to spend a night out with her friends, so she was still happy about the whole thing. Also, seeing Kyne cower and almost hide behind her at seeing Rita was pretty entertaining in itself. 

Kyne, on the other hand, had sulked like a moody child for days afterwards. She even complained that Kiara had been cheating, since it was _her_ friends that messed up their walk. 

It was still worth it since Kiara could say, a smirk clear on her features: “let me take care of it, _for real_.” 

* * *

Needless to say, Kiara had high expectations for that “third first date”. The pressure was on, and she wanted the night to go well, to make sure Kyne would remember it when they would inevitably be away from each other. She had taken days to plan everything, methodically, making sure everything would go according to it. It might have been a stupid competition between them, but Kiara _wanted_ that dumb win, she wanted to wipe off the smirk on Kyne’s stupid cute face. She even got her friends involved in the whole process - she didn’t want them to be meddling, this time, and they owed her one. Besides, a few of them had good advice - okay, Rita, Tynomi and Starzy did, and the others were just rowdy and playfully whistled every single time Kiara dared to mention Kyne. She had finished that night with a deep blush covering her cheeks, and her soulmate had merely raised an eyebrow, actually backing off for once when Kiara just told her not to ask. 

“You ready? You know what they say, huh, _jamais deux sans trois?_ Let’s hope not, though.” 

Kyne raised her head from the book she was busy reading, her dark eyes coming to watch her with rapt attention. She made sure to bookmark her page first and placed it back on the nightstand. “You mean, third time’s a charm? Isn’t the French one a bit… unlucky, in this case?” 

Kiara nodded, a shy smile on her features - she had absolutely forgotten the English expression for it before Kyne told her. She was pretty good usually, but most of the expressions still went right through her head. She was lucky Kyne was quick at picking up French to help her. “I swear if something happens, this time, regardless of the fact that I still wanna win, I’m throwing myself off that bridge that looks super sketchy near here.” 

Kiara laughed loudly, only getting increasingly ear-splitting as she saw the deadpan expression make its way on Kyne’s face. “It’s fine, _mon_ _amour_. I got it. Also, you might wanna reconsider the whole “throwing yourself off a bridge”, since we’re going the opposite way - and we’re gonna drive for a moment, so bring a pillow or something. I know you’re gonna fall asleep two minutes in the drive.” 

Kyne huffed, her pride deeply bruised by her soulmate’s fact stating. “I’m not gonna fall asleep,” she finally mumbled, still taking Kiara’s hoodie with her. Kiara hummed, opting to not rile up the girl more, and pushed her towards the car with a smile. 

* * *

The drive took more or less 45 minutes, and while Kyne had taken at least ten minutes falling asleep this time - that stubborn dumbass - she had still succumbed to it like Kiara had predicted earlier. Strangely, she found out that she didn’t mind - yes, the brunette loved talking with Kyne, listening to music with her, and debating about random society issues, but the mathematician was just adorable when sleeping soundly, wordlessly trusting her to drive them safely. She felt her heart soar at the feeling. Besides, Kyne also looked really precious with her head nestled carefully against the window, Kiara’s hoodie acting as a pillow. 

Kiara almost felt guilty about waking her up, but they had arrived and she wanted the older one to see where they were. She silently unfastened the seatbelt of Kyne, and slowly brushed her fingers along her cheek, brushing a few hair strands away from her face. She looked so calm like this, unlike the usual deadpan or restless expression she wore when awake. Absentmindedly, her fingers had dropped to the sleeping girl’s full lips - and Kiara jumped out of her skin when she felt Kyne’s tongue lightly grazing them. She moved away instantly, like if she had been burned - Kiara knew she must have a startled expression, but the jolt of arousal she had sensed rushing along her spine made her reconsider staying near. 

Kyne’s brown eyes - _were they even darker than usual or was she hallucinating?_ \- were unfocused for a moment, but once they locked on her, they were holding her gaze with mischievousness clear in them, a hint of smirk making its way on the lips she was fixating. Kiara groaned inwardly. She was well aware of the rising need growing between them, even if they hadn’t even kissed yet. Something always happened before - but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t hoping that tonight would help diffuse some of the tension between them by making a move. 

Kiara shook off the haze in her brain, her mind clouded by thoughts she wasn’t sure she was even allowed to have. Would Kyne kill her if she knew? 

“You know I can hear your mind, right? Why would I kill you?” Kyne had tilted her head on the side slightly, seemingly curious. 

Kiara flushed crimson in three seconds, actually highly embarrassed and deeply hoping the other had just caught that part and _not_ what she was thinking a bit earlier. “I, huh… does it really matter? We’re here! Let’s go,” hastily blurted out the Québécoise, opening her door and completely missing Kyne, her dark eyes watching her move with want swirling inside them. 

* * *

“So where did you get that idea?” 

They were laying down on a fluffy blanket Kiara had brought along, and they were watching the night starting to fall, as it got progressively colder - for summer, at least. The skies were clear, and Kiara had driven them just outside of the city limits, making sure they had an incredible view of the stars and moon that were starting to come out fully, a few clouds here and there. 

“I wanted to have somewhere I knew people wouldn’t bother us. I used to come here often during my teenage years, whenever I needed to cheer up. It was my super secret place or something,” rushed out Kiara, feeling a bit dumb for what she was saying so freely. Kyne had turned on her side, facing her and smiled - all softness, no snark for once. Kiara almost teased her about it but chose not to. 

“I think it’s cute, I’m glad you brought me to the _super secret place_ ,” she started with amusement clear in her voice, frowning sharply a few seconds later. “Did you… did you ever come here because… of me?” 

Kiara sighed. They had made the promise to be honest with each other, and to stop withholding information from the other, thinking they were making a good decision. Because it wasn’t - and while it wasn’t exactly like lying, it still caused them problems in the long run. 

_I do love you, and I trust you_. 

_We just have to stick with each other_. 

Kyne’s words from about a week early still resonated clearly inside her head. She thought about them daily, because Kyne wasn’t the type of person to just ramble about how much she loved her everyday like _she_ did. And it was fine - that didn’t mean the smaller one loved her any less: she knew better than that, now. With that, Kiara knew she had to come clean with all the hurt she had felt in the past. 

“Yeah, mostly. I just… You’re gonna think it’s dumb, but I used to cry on my mother’s lap at least twice a week because I thought I wasn’t worthy enough to have my own soulmate,” she started, stubbornly keeping her gaze on the night sky instead of Kyne next to her, fighting the tears threatening to fall, “I thought... I wasn’t worthy enough to have my own soulmate _love_ me, _notice_ me,” she finished, her voice tight, the tears finally falling down, slowly rolling down her face. 

It was silent for a long time, the relative quietness only broken by crickets chirping and the wind blowing lightly against the leaves. Kiara was surprised when she felt a cold hand slowly sweep at the trail of tears, a thumb gently caressing the side of her jaw. “It’s not dumb,” said Kyne with a low voice, and Kiara even detected a waver in it. “I wish you could tell how angry at myself I am for doing this; I never knew it would affect you so much.” 

Kiara scoffed, shaking her head a bit. “I _know_. You’re thinking so loud and clearly about it, I hear your self-loathing all the time. It’s one of the only things you let me hear. That’s why I never said a thing, really. You beat yourself enough for both of us, and more,” she concluded, turning on her side to watch Kyne better, and reduce the distance between them. She took the hand of her soulmate in hers, watching with rapt attention her dejected expression, and brought it to her mouth, gently kissing it. “It’s fine, you’re here now, it’s all I ever wanted. Besides, now that we’re together, I don’t have to spite you out by singing random songs and French jingles in your head to piss you off,” chuckled Kiara, ending on a lighter note. 

Kyne grumbled, before she smirked softly. “Tell me, did you enjoy _Gettin’ Triggy With It_ , then?” 

“Ugh. I can’t believe you wrote a whole ass song just to get back at me. And about math! Are you out of your damn mind?” 

“You started it! You sang _All I Want For Christmas Is You_ on repeat for a whole fucking month! In May! During the final exams! I had to retaliate! Besides, you should thank me for it!”

“Thank you for it?!” Kiara gasped, punching at her shoulder lightly. “Why?!” 

“Because I _know_ you won’t admit it but it absolutely helped you scrape an average grade in university, don’t play dumb, you’re a computer science major, you _had_ to have math classes other than -” 

Kiara rolled her eyes, not even bothering with an answer, as she cut off the girl, grabbing at her hoodie to bring them closer and diving right into a bruising kiss, symbol of their pent-up tension from the last weeks. She had no idea how Kyne was doing it, but she was driving her absolutely crazy - she had been right from the start. She was hot and cold, and Kyne was always on and _in_ her mind. Meeting in person had only exacerbated the emotion to its very limit, waiting to break after being held back so long. 

Self-control was overrated, anyway, thought Kiara as she found herself straddling the smaller one, pushing her down strongly against the hard ground. They were still kissing softly, their lips parting from times to times to get a short and necessary amount of air inside their lungs before continuing. Kyne didn’t seem to mind having the taller one on top of her, but Kiara still wondered if she should perhaps stop for a while and just _ask_ . It was just difficult when all she had dreamed in the past weeks - years, even - was to be able to kiss her, to _touch_ her, to make her understand that she was worthy of her. She finally had her chance, and she wasn’t letting go for anything - but it was still nagging at the back of her mind, making her more distracted than she should be for the situation. Kiara let out a yelp when she suddenly felt Kyne’s strong legs just change their position without difficulty. Had she been overestimating her own strength? 

“I can still hear your thoughts, you know - and if I didn’t mind you _thinking_ it earlier, I certainly don’t mind you _doing_ it now,” Kyne quipped with mischievousness clear in her smile, her lips reddened by their kisses. “If I didn’t want to, I would have pushed you away, you weigh like nothing,” she concluded, their foreheads bumping softly against each other. Kiara sighed, albeit a bit shakily - so she had been right: Kyne had heard her thoughts, earlier. 

Fortunately, she was more in control now, her mind less clouded by absolutely sinful thoughts, and maybe they should talk before something else happened. _Maybe_. 

That was before Kiara realized the ridiculously strong hold that Kyne had over her hips, her thighs keeping her firmly pinned on the ground. Honestly, she wasn’t really complaining - she was just surprised. Kyne had shown a few times how much hidden strength she was packing, and Kiara had apparently underestimated it greatly. Without much thought, Kiara had put her arms around the other’s back, keeping her against her own body. She felt warm, and it was more than pleasing, it was comforting. Like she could sleep just like that - or she would, if she wasn’t fixated on the feeling of Kyne’s hips pressing against her own. 

Kiara only realized how much it really affected her when Kyne shifted slightly, probably getting more comfortable, and she let out an involuntary loud whine, a hand instantly coming to cover her mouth in embarrassment. Kiara’s other hand was deeply lodged between the shoulder blades of Kyne, clutching harshly at the soft material of her hoodie, torn between throwing the girl off her in shame or just letting her continue. 

That’s it - this was how she was going to die. Of shame, obviously, but it still counted as a death anyway. Why did she always have to put herself into such mortifying situations? Now Kyne was never going to let her live this down, she would be all smartass smirking in the next three seconds, Kiara could feel it. She closed her eyes firmly in anticipation, and waited for the inevitable teasing of her soulmate. 

Instead, The Québécoise was met with an almost deafening silence and she frowned, opening her eyes once more. Kiara absolutely wasn’t ready for the sight she was blessed with. 

Kyne was watching her with half-lidded obsidian eyes, riveted on her and not wavering. She had a soft crimson tint to her cheeks and upper neck, and some pale brown hair strands fell loosely on her face, the soft wind moving them without care. She was biting at her lower lip, pulling it lightly between her teeth, like she was torn between continuing and stopping for her sake. The thought made Kiara’s heart soften even further for the Ontarian. 

“Are you trying to turn me on? Cause it’s working, you know,” she said with a hoarse voice, way lower than what Kiara was used to. It made goosebumps break on her skin hearing it - she didn’t know she was into it, but here she was.

“I wasn’t… but I see it doesn’t take a lot for you to be _bothered_ ,” instead smirked Kiara, trying to assert herself more - if Kyne wasn’t going to be a smartass for fucking once, she would take advantage of it. “Or maybe it’s just because I’m too hot to handle?” 

Kyne scoffed, stealing a fast but passionate kiss at the other, making her groan once more, her hand aimlessly trying to prolong the embrace. “No, I just like hearing you make noise for me,” retaliated the mathematician with mischievousness, when she pulled back. 

However, her smirk dropped suddenly, and she seemed to be deep in thoughts, her traits serious under the pale moonlight that was now shining through. Kiara almost worried for a split second and surprisingly caught a few words of Kyne’s jumbled thoughts - this was a rare moment: usually the Filipina had a very tight control over her mental reflections, a result of her training as a teenager. The only things Kiara managed to get, at best, was how Kyne was berating herself about ignoring her during their teenage years. But now, she was hearing it clearly, louder than anything she caught from her soulmate typically. 

_So scared_. _Be bold. Girlfriend._

It was enough for the French Canadian to realize what the other’s mind was up to, and she barely kept a surprised gasp from escaping her throat. _Kyne wanted to be her girlfriend?!_ _And she had that realization as they were almost grinding on each other?_ Kiara wanted to facepalm herself, but instead chose to concentrate on easing her soulmate’s apprehensions. 

She brought back the other into their embrace, most of the heat forgotten at the sudden shift in the air. Kiara gently brushed her long fingers into Kyne’s pale hair, and kissed her temple. “You don’t have to be scared of me, ever. You might be in _my_ head all the time, but I’m also in _yours_. When you lower your damn walls, at least,” she chuckled, feeling more than hearing the huff of Kyne against her shoulder. 

“Be my girlfriend?” 

“Of course I will, dummy. We already kinda were, no?” 

“Shut up and hold me, you’re comfortable,” mumbled Kyne softly, a hint of fatigue in her tone. 

“How can you even be tired again, you slept all the way here,” questioned Kiara with amusement, resuming her task of caressing the other’s back gently, lulling her even more towards sleep. 

Her soulmate didn’t answer, but she didn’t need to - her mind provided the answer. 

_I shouldn’t sleep but she’s so comfortable and warm and I just feel safe when she holds me_. 

Kiara smiled endearingly at this, both at the wording and how she was able to pick up more than just a few scattered words here and there - she knew it was Kyne lowering her defenses and allowing her inside. She knew how hard it must have been and it made her heart swell with love. 

For once, Kiara watched the moon shine brightly and illuminate the park without crying or feeling like she wasn’t worthy of the only person who would own her heart eventually. 

  
Operation: Third First Date was officially a success, and she couldn’t wait to poke fun at her soulmate about it whenever she woke up. Because it was _her_ victory and it needed to be celebrated, after all. But for now, sleep seemed like a good option. 


	4. I'm a mess when you're not here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, so this is the last chapter... Feels strange, saying goodbye after this wild ride.   
> I loved writing them, I never thought I'd enjoy this concept of soulmates so much, but here we are.  
> I spent the last few days asking myself if I separated this chapter because it's long but in the end, I kept it this way.   
> (I know some people would have hunted me down if I split it, so...)   
> On this, I hope you enjoy it! Also - stay tuned, I might have more for that universe in the near future...

Summer had to end eventually, Kyne realized with an angry scowl marring her usually neutral traits. The first few days back in Ontario were akin to pure torture for her - she constantly felt like she was suffocating without her lover around, surrounding her, like Kiara was the only thing keeping her from drowning every day. It was highly out of character, especially for her. She knew it was stupid; it was childish - but she missed Kiara, she missed being able to shout for her whenever she wanted attention and see the girl come running to her, and most of all, she missed falling asleep entangled in the other girl’s soft warmth. Kyne missed it all, like she had never predicted she would. And God only knew when they’d be able to meet again - between her masters, and Kiara’s new job working with Rita at her company. 

Even now, about two months in, Kyne missed Kiara just as much as the day she left to take her plane. It was constant, always at the forefront of her mind, no matter how much she kept Kiara’s hoodie on either herself or on her pillow at her apartment. No matter how many little things the Québécoise gave her to she didn’t feel alone too much.

During the worst days - which were more often than she would have liked - Kyne would spend hours in a bath whose water was turning cold, and close her eyes, wondering if they really were made for each other, after all. No matter how much they dedicated themselves to it - hell, they did talk every single day. Sure, they were technically constantly together in their heads, but they also realized how pleasant it could be to simply call each other instead. 

Kyne always made sure to talk to Kiara until the younger one fell asleep and she was left sitting on her bed, headphones blasting music while she tried to keep up with the unreasonable expectations of her professors. But nothing was soothing the aching need she felt for her girlfriend. Kyne wanted to be in Québec every day with her soulmate, she wanted to witness all her clumsiness; she wanted to be home when the IT manager came from work; she wanted to make diner with her, and fall asleep while watching a stupid French movie that she only understood half the references but it didn’t matter because Kiara  _ loved _ them. 

Were they even made for each other, regardless of the soulmate thing? They’d never have met otherwise, that was for sure. While they got along surprisingly well, they still didn’t have the same interests, and often butted heads, between her own stubbornness and Kiara’s ability to put her foot in her mouth every time she tried to make things work. 

Kyne groaned, bringing her head down to rest on her knees, the water lukewarm at best around her. She still didn’t make a move to head out of the bath, though. Today was rough, but weren’t all days difficult being so far away from each other? Kiara didn’t seem to struggle as much - the girl still went out with her friends, enjoyed diners with her parents and seemingly thrived at work. 

Meanwhile, Kyne was a pathetic mess - is this what love was supposed to make you feel? Was there a way to refund it? Because she wasn’t too sure she wanted it, after all. She knew twelve-years old Kyne would probably throw a fit and punch her repeatedly for being so weak and addicted to her soulmate, and right now, the mathematician kind of agreed with her younger self. It was easy to ignore all the bad things when Kyne was hiding in the crook of Kiara’s neck, her girlfriend soothing her and caressing her back softly. It was another thing completely to handle everything  _ alone _ , in the middle of her stupid bath. 

Her semester was shit - her grades were suffering more than she had ever seen them go and if Kyne wasn’t this exhausted, she would have probably cared more; 

Her professors were always expecting more, more,  _ more _ \- something that she couldn’t give, she was crumbling under pressure already;

Her parents were still miffed about the whole “ _ she didn’t come home all summer to elope with a girl _ ” business, because they had  _ really _ believed that somehow, somewhere, Kyne would just ignore her soulmate like she always did when she was a teenager and marry a random semi-successful guy; 

And then, her roommates had their fun with the 360 into pure angst she did when she came back to Kitchener-Waterloo. Sure, they had wanted to help - Boa had tried to be comforting, but that girl was so distracted and had absolutely no tact; and Scarlona (yes, this was Ilona and Scarlett, because they were  _ always _ together) were of absolutely no help because they were only making Kyne think of how much she wanted her fucking soulmate near and how lucky they were. 

At this point, Kyne would have taken a fun drinking night with Priyanka and Lemon; a good debate with Tynomi, Starzy, Jimbo and Juice to mediate it all; and even some goddamn tough love from Rita over all her friends’ attempts. But, like her soulmate, they were all in another city, 900km away. They kept contact with her, but she never really talked about her struggles - she didn’t know how comfortable she was with how they could influence Kiara into doing something that,  _ maybe _ , the girl didn’t want to do.

Namely, coming to see her. 

Kyne was basically tied down to the city until she graduated, about a year and half away. She could go somewhere else for her doctorate, but for now, it was out of the question - and out of reach. Kiara, on the other hand, could come see her on the weekends - she didn’t have a myriad of angry intellectuals or younger students chasing her to ask for her participation on some panel or how to do a research paper. 

Maybe it was selfish of Kyne, but she dreamed of a day where Kiara would just come and live with her until she graduated, and they could, after, figure out what they wanted to do. 

The Filipina wanted that so much, but was never able to admit it - so she didn’t ask Kiara in the last two months. And Kiara hadn’t proposed, either. It was a sore point, and they both awkwardly avoided treading on it. Kyne knew it was just a matter of time. It would come out, and explode. They would fight, and then… 

Kyne abruptly stood up, cold water now splashing around the white walls of the bathroom. Her pruney-looking fingers awkwardly grabbed a large towel before she froze to death. She started to angrily wipe the water away, rubbing harsher than she should have, leaving trails of reddening skin in her wake, that she barely noticed anyway. 

So what if Kiara didn’t want to come see her, or live with her? It wasn’t the end of the world, right? She needed to stop acting like a crybaby. 

So what if she would drop everything if Kiara asked and just move to Québec with her? It didn’t have to be reciprocated. It was stupid,  _ she _ was stupid - and she didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

* * *

Weeks continued to pass by without any change - except the scenery outside, as it was now early November. Snow had started to fall last week around Halloween, a common thing around, leaving a peaceful, albeit chilly, atmosphere outside. 

Kyne had to concentrate more than usual on her upcoming exams, with her professors piling up the essays and reports to present every single week. She barely had time to herself; hell, she lived with her three best friends, and hadn’t seen any of them in almost ten days. Not that they didn’t try or were avoiding each other; Kyne was just never there - always on the campus, either at the library or working with the other teacher assistants. 

She still continued to talk to her girlfriend everyday, but she was so absorbed by her studies and how deeply hurt she felt while Kiara seemed fine, that Kyne didn’t even notice how their talks were no longer lasting hours, merely reduced to a few minutes here and there. She didn’t even notice how Kiara had stopped to talk about her friends, her IT work, her parents’ stupid jokes, the new shenanigans in her French TV show, everything that she liked to usually babble about. 

They were reduced to stupid casual bullshit like “ _ how are you _ ” and vague mentions of missing each other but not doing much otherwise. 

When Kyne finally realized the distance, the rift between them growing, it was too late - the chasm was too large and too deep between them to be caulked like one would do with a window to bridge a gap. No, it was either break or make, and in their state? Kyne wasn’t sure it was going to work. The thought terrified her and she instantly internalized it, pushing it down uneasily, hoping that their bond as soulmates would be enough for now. 

* * *

The day was normal, and for once, Kyne had some downtime - she had sent all her essays in time, had done her TA work, and was free for the whole day. A part of her wanted to spend it in bed, lazingly sleeping it off, but Kyne had trouble sleeping constantly since she was alone in bed. Sure, she got a respectful six or seven hours of sleep most of the time, but they weren’t restful - far from it. Most of them were plagued with nightmares, or of her panicking and waking up in a hurry, trying to guess if Kiara was awake or not. The rest of them? They were dreams about memories of them during the summer - and to Kyne, this was almost worse than all the nightmares combined, because it only reminded her of what she couldn’t have anymore. She would wake up feeling like shit, and start her day by crying in a pillow, actually just a step away from ripping off the aforementioned article in shreds. 

Feeling the thoughts bringing her down once again, she had instead turned to Kiara, wanting some comfort - and she had time, a rarity these days. But the reception she got on the phone wasn’t the one she was expecting. It was cold, almost distant - so unlike her girlfriend that she was startled. And instantly, she fell back into her old habits - becoming stubborn and pushing, pushing,  _ pushing _ , until the very limit. 

“Why are you calling me, don’t you have classes today?” 

“I cleared most of the work I had to do, am I not allowed to want to talk to you?” 

“Yeah, sure, but that doesn’t seem to be the case a lot lately, we barely talk anymore,” simply said Kiara, her accent thicker than usual in her emotional state. 

Kyne already wanted to scream. This wasn’t going well, and she hated this. She wanted everything to be okay. She wanted to go back to last summer, where everything was new and fun and just exhilarating. 

“We talk everyday…” tried Kyne, her voice barely above a murmur. 

“Yeah, about casual things. I want our hour-long discussions back. I want to be able to tell you everything I do and how I wish you were here with me. I miss you, Kyne... But you just live inside your fortress and isolate yourself every time there’s something wrong and you - you don’t let me in! We need to communicate otherwise this can’t work...” 

Kyne pinched the bridge of her nose. Objectively, she knew Kiara was  _ right _ , but at the moment she wasn’t thinking straight, she was seeing red in pure anger. All her days crying came rushing back to her and she felt dizzy with the sheer force of it. “Don’t you see that I miss you so fucking much - it hurts, I can’t handle this, and meanwhile you’re just doing so well, so excuse me for thinking that I was bothering you or something!” 

She heard Kiara sigh heavily on the other side of the phone. “Well, I can’t read your mind...” 

“Actually, you kinda can, so fucking figure it out,” snarled Kyne, way too inside her feelings to consider how Kiara just said,  _ again _ , the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. 

This had the effect of making Kiara bristle, gasping at the venom she had used. “You’re just a fucking coward Kyne, just tell me what the hell is wrong for once so I don’t have to guess!” 

“Oh? I’m the coward now? Do you even know what you’ve done to me?”

“No! No I don’t! How long are you going to keep this up? You can’t even tell me how you really feel, what I’ve supposedly done. We’re supposed to be dating! We were doing so well this summer! I guess that went away, huh,” observed Kiara in a distant tone that had Kyne take a step back.  _ Did she…? _

“Hold up. Are you breaking up with me? We’re soulmates!” shouted Kyne, feeling the tears gather at the corner of her eyes already. This wasn’t happening. Not after everything. 

_ Weak _ , taunted the teenage version of herself in her mind,  _ you let her own you _ .  _ What have you done? _

There was a long silence on the other line, followed by a hoarse voice. “It’s not always a fairy tale,” Kiara whispered with a waver, probably holding back tears as well. 

“Don’t you dare use Rita’s words against me! We’re not her, we’re not  _ her and Lemon _ , we can make it work! Don’t you remember what I said? We just gotta stick with each other!” 

_ Weak. We were doing so well - why did you let her in? She has your heart in chains.  _

“... Maybe it’s for the best if we don’t talk for a while. You know where to find me if you ever wanna talk it out,” Kiara said, before hesitating for a few seconds. Kyne could hear her sniffle in the background, even if she tried to hide it. “Take care, Kyne.” 

Before Kyne had the chance to add something else, the younger one had hung up, leaving the Filipina to stand still in her room, frozen, her phone dropping from her hand to create a loud bang on the ground. She didn’t even care if it was shattered or not. This alerted her roommates, who came rushing in the room, finding her absolutely unresponsive, her dark eyes riveted on the slowly falling snow outside the window. It was calm, so silent. It was such a typical sight that Kyne almost forgot what was all happening. 

_ It’s over. It’s all over. What have you done? You deserve it. She deserves better.  _

Until she tried to contact her soulmate through their minds, and was met, for the first time ever, with pure silence. Nothing. Not even a murmur or a stupid commercial jingle. Just quietness, stillness. Nothing. 

_ Kiara always told you she felt like she wasn’t worthy - but it’s you. It’s you who isn’t.  _

Then, Kyne screamed until her lungs failed her and her knees gave out, falling roughly on the rug, her best friends all trying to slow down her brutal fall.

This time, she had lost Kiara for good, and for what? Missing her, being jealous of her friends and family for being with her, and wanting her to come see her but being, like Kiara had said, a fucking coward? 

_ You deserve this. You’re a coward. You don’t deserve her love. You don’t deserve a soulmate. _

She really was a pathetic mess who didn’t deserve the other woman. Maybe it was for the best; Kiara could find someone to love her like she should be, someone better than her, someone who understood French perfectly, someone who shared her interests, someone who wasn’t a  _ coward _ with their feelings. 

Maybe their story was more like Rita and Lemon than she had anticipated. 

Kiara would find her Priyanka.

And Kyne would become a ruthless mathematician who spoke bitterly of soulmates while being forced to witness the very love of her life find joy in the arms of someone else. 

The simple thought made her sick to her stomach, bile rising up in her throat, her fingers flexing and scratching aimlessly at the floor in pure agony, nothing soothing her growing pain, the dull ache she felt in her heart. 

This was her own nightmare, except that she wouldn’t wake up this time and have Kiara mutter soft words of comfort in French inside her head. 

_ You aren’t worthy. You say you love her, and you still don’t let her in. You deserve this hurt.  _

Kyne was alone - as it had always been. How it would always be. She barely felt the embrace of her roommates, so deep she was in her own twisted reality. 

* * *

It didn’t take a genius to realize how badly things were going between them. Kiara had refused to leave the house ever since her whole “breakup but not really” night, barely answering the group chat and only letting in Rita when the other had cornered her during work. Other than that? No one had seen a glimpse of her. Kiara was also strangely absent of social media, and she usually loved to spend all her free time on it. 

She knew her friends were worried for her, but she just couldn’t bear to leave the comfort of her dark room, and see people all around her that were happy and  _ in love _ . At least, Rita wasn’t faking it, and she wasn’t pitying her, either. Also, hearing the older woman threatening to actually smash her  _ ex-girlfriend _ in great detail made her let out a soft chuckle, the only one in days. 

Kiara made sure she still told a firm no to Rita - she knew her sister could absolutely do it. If she were in Kyne’s shoes, she would be scared out of her mind.

_ Kyne _ … 

It had already been a few days and Kiara didn’t know how Kyne had managed to survive all these years without her voice - because she was an absolute mess as she was trying to cut her mind from the other at all times. Maybe Kyne wasn’t as attached to her as she had expected. Kiara knew her love ran deep, but wasn’t it the same for her soulmate? 

The thought - or any thoughts of Kyne, really - just bought a new wave of pain, as more sobs raked her tall frame. She clutched her lion plushie and hid her face in its mane. She missed Kyne so much, she felt like the mathematician had carved a serrated wound all around her heart, and it was getting more and more infected every single day.  _ Can you die from a broken, infected, festering heart? _ Kiara pondered aimlessly. 

Still, she was way too angry to talk to the mathematician, through their mind or by phone. Was Kyne even missing her? She hadn’t made any move to talk with her yet. Kiara had been clear they wouldn’t talk again unless the other made the effort, for once - even if she knew she would break eventually, already nearing her patience’s limit. 

_ Where are you? _

_ And I'm so sorry _

_ I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight _

_ I need somebody and always _

_ This sick, strange darkness _

_ Comes creeping on, so haunting every time _

_ And as I stare, I counted _

_ The webs from all the spiders _

_ Catching things and eating their insides _

_ Like indecision to call you _

_ And hear your voice of treason _

_ Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? _

_ Stop this pain tonight _

Kiara groaned in pure agony, almost throwing her phone and her lion plushie at the her laptop and its stupid decision to play the one, single song she wasn’t in the mood to hear because it felt just too close to home. She had always loved it, but right now it was only fueling her pain. The tall girl still got up, her bones creaking in displeasure, and she ignored them in favor of harshly closing down her laptop. 

Kiara jumped out of her skin as she heard her phone ring loudly in the otherwise very silent house, and she hesitantly grabbed it, curious to see who tried to call her this time. Didn’t they know that she wouldn’t answer, except perhaps if it was Rita - and only because the blonde would drop by her house if she didn’t. Kiara wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, especially after a long week - only four days of work, but still four days too much. She had to fake it and look like she hadn’t pushed away her principal source of happiness. It was exhausting, to say the least. 

She groaned when she recognized Rita’s face and name on her screen.  _ Might as well answer _ , she thought bitterly. “What do you want?” 

“ _ Oui, bonsoir, je vais bien et toi _ ?” answered the even tone of Rita, and Kiara rolled her eyes, barely keeping down her sarcasm. 

“What do you want?” she repeated, rolling around in bed to settle down on her back, her lion plushie still safely tucked under her arm. 

“Look, I’m gonna cut it short because I know you have no attention span. I have a solution for your soulmate problem.” 

Kiara scoffed in disbelief. “I don’t want it.”

“Okay, maybe I said it wrong - you don’t have a choice, we already decided, and everything is done. You leave for Ontario tomorrow morning.” 

Kiara felt her heart stop in her chest, before starting again, beating painfully against her ribs. So, unfortunately, she was still alive. She felt white hot anger rise abruptly and tightened her hold on her plushie. 

“I - WHAT? No fucking way. And who’s  _ we? _ ”

“Me, our friends, Kyne’s roommates. You’re welcome, by the way.” Kiara could almost see the smirk of Rita from behind her tightly closed eyelids. “I hate to admit it, but Priyanka did a good job finding them and making the group chat. And I was appointed to kick your ass and make sure you’d get into the plane tomorrow.” 

“If you think for a single second that I’m going -”

“ _ Shh. _ You will. Aren’t you tired of moping around and living on cheap fast food? Until what? Kyne comes around? You know how stubborn that girl is. Anyway, she’s probably wallowing in even more pain than you, if that’s possible. Don’t you want answers? Clear ones? Good or bad?” 

Kiara had to admit her best friend had a point.  _ Fuck _ , she hated when Rita made valid arguments. But she still wasn’t particularly ready to face Kyne, after everything, especially on the other’s own turf. “I’m scared.” 

“I know,” said Rita in a soothing tone. “But don’t be like me. Have the courage to ask for your answers instead of living in a limbo for years. It’s the most painful thing ever. Get your girl.” 

“Rita, I, shouldn’t you talk with -”

“This isn’t about me. Please, Kiki. Go fix things, you two looked so happy together.” 

Kiara was taken aback by the emotion she heard in the usually neutral voice of the blonde businesswoman, and decided to heed her option - Rita had never led her astray, anyway. 

“Fine. But if I go tomorrow, you need to talk with Lemon about it. You know she’s just fooling around with Pri, right? You’re still  _ her _ soulmate...” 

She heard the older woman sigh loudly at the other end, then silence for a few seconds. “Fine. I will. But I’ll hate every second of it, and you’ll have to get drunk with me when you come back to soothe my broken heart,” laughed Rita, though she didn’t exactly sound pleased by the prospect. 

“Somehow I think we’ll have to drink, but for me, not you,” huffed Kiara, accepting her fate, albeit reluctantly. “Send me the plane ticket and information. I’ll go tomorrow,” and before her best friend could argue, she continued. “ _ Yes _ , I’ll send you pictures of me going in the plane. I know you don’t trust me with this.” 

“Damn right I don’t”, acquiesced Rita, chuckling. “Now, go to sleep. I know you barely got some this week - you didn’t call me or Lemon at all. I’ll stay until you start snoring like a truck.” 

“I don’t snore like a truck,” argued Kiara with a groan, hearing the vague  _ mhmm _ of Rita and she decided to not even deign to give an answer. A part of her wanted to tease her best friend about how she even knew she didn’t call Lemon at all. But she instead turned on her side, and asked that the blonde sang, which the other did, immediately going for the ones who usually soothed her the most. 

Her last awake thought was for Kyne, as usual, this time wondering how it would go, and if she knew what was going on - if her roommates had told her of the plan. 

* * *

Being in a whole different place was… surprising, to say the least. Kiara had travelled with her parents in the past, but it was mostly to touristic places, not alone to a middle-sized Ontarian city covered with snow all-around in the middle of freezing November. Now, here she was on a mission with her large backpack and her cellphone in one hand, confusion clearly showing. 

Apparently, Kiara was supposed to meet up with Kyne’s roommates, so they could drive her around, especially since she had  _ no idea _ where to go. She had Google Maps, sure, but it often wasn’t the savior she expected it to be whenever she opened it. Combined with her clumsiness, it could be quite dangerous. 

Kiara shot a quick text to her friend group, letting them know she had landed safely, before walking carefully in the busy airport, dodging hurried people left and right. Rita and the others - okay, mostly Priyanka - had coached her and told her everything she needed to know about the three roommates of her soulmate, even information she wasn’t sure was important at all. But Priyanka had a habit of just dropping every single detail she had come across on someone’s else shoulders without a care. And for once, Rita hadn’t even tried to shut her up - instead watching the energetic girl flail her hands around with a soft smile. It was highly suspicious, now that Kiara was thinking about it.. 

Yet, she was still thankful that she wasn’t going blind into it. 

And finding three dumbasses wasn’t exactly hard, either, even if she hadn’t spotted them already. When Priyanka had shown her all their pictures on Instagram, she didn’t know what she was expecting - maybe carbon copies of Kyne? All prim and proper and laser-focused on their work, perhaps. 

Well, Boa, Ilona and Scarlett were the exact opposite of that. They looked like pranksters, ready to fuck things up every second and just go along for the ride all the time. Honestly, Kiara felt like they would be better suited for her friend group than Kyne’s. Maybe she could trade Tynomi and Starzy for them, since they really liked Kyne’s company when she was in Québec. 

But, according to Priyanka, the four roommates were all pretty close - which somewhat surprised Kiara. Kyne didn’t really speak much about them - but then again, Kyne didn’t really talk much about anything that happened in her hometown, be it her friends or family. That was another issue that Kiara would need to bring up.  _ If _ they managed to talk. 

“Kiara! Over here!” The aforementioned girl spun awkwardly on her feet, her pale eyes finally meeting the somewhat isolated spot where the trio was waiting for her, waving enthusiastically. She made her way to them, a small smile playing on her lips. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” she started softly, unsure of how they would react. After all, they had probably picked up Kyne after she destroyed her - or something. 

“Finally! You’re here, Kyne will stop moping around, God, our place is more gloomy than a 7 am math class,” exclaimed the shortest one, and Kiara recognized Boa. The other two nodded along, while she groaned. “Tell me about it,” Kiara mumbled, shivering as she remembered her stupid linear algebra classes in the morning. 

But of course that memory was deeply tied-up to Kyne and she found herself sighing heavily, her head dropping down to hide her inner turmoil. She missed the three friends sharing a pointed gaze. 

“Come on, we’ll bring you to the university already, that’s the only place where we can find her these days,” carefully said Scarlett, a hand squeezing at Kiara’s shoulder in compassion. 

“Yeah, sometimes we wonder if she even comes home at all, of if she stays there to sleep in a little tent between her classes,” laughed Ilona, following them along. 

Somehow, Kiara felt really at ease with the three, who were always laughing at something and tried to keep her mind off her soulmate. Even if it was hard to, watching Ilona and Scarlett being so happy together, even if they bickered, they seemed in perfect harmony. Could Kyne and her really aim for that?

* * *

The trio left her on the university grounds, telling her vaguely where to go because even they weren’t sure where the older girl was - she was quite elusive these days, barely answering her phone and almost never at the apartment. Kiara saw the worry in their eyes, and smiled, vowing to at least try to make it better. Surprising her, they all hugged her and wished her good luck, taking her backpack with them to their apartment, who was nearby. 

That left her to look around like a lost little freshman - it reminded her of when she had started university in her hometown. Fortunately, once Kiara came across the applied mathematics building, she figured she was probably at the right place. At least, the odds were pretty much on her side this time around. 

...Except that it was huge and she had no idea where to go first - she didn’t even know where Kyne was at all, or what she was doing on Fridays.  _ Ugh _ . This was gonna be a bother, especially since Kyne’s roommates didn’t know what she was up to either, so she couldn’t rely on them. 

_ Concentrate a bit _ , she thought unhelpfully. Kiara had three options: either she asked someone and hoped for the best; she could roam around for eons, or she could  _ try _ to figure out what Kyne was doing by reaching out in their link. 

Kiara almost instantly ruled out the last one, at least before they spoke in real life. She wasn’t sure she could handle restoring their bond and destroying it again after if it all turned bad. Even after the whole week, she still had trouble making sure her mind was closed off at all times. 

While she was deep in thoughts, Kiara caught a little group and asked if they had seen the small girl, but to no avail. No one had any idea where Kyne was and it was driving her crazy.  _ Think _ ,  _ where would she go _ ?  _ Logically!  _

That’s when she had the literal illumination of her life - if Kiara had been in a comic, there would have been a lightbulb above her head, for sure. 

The library. 

Kyne always said she couldn’t study at her apartment, since her roommates were super rowdy, and she preferred to have access to books and her professors for help if necessary. 

Kiara picked up her pace in the long corridors of the building, her shoes screeching slightly on the damp floor from melted snow, making some people side eye her a bit. Not that she was concerned - she wanted to find her soulmate, the rest could go to hell. As the French Canadian arrived at her destination, she pushed one of the large doors open, silently greeting the librarian at the counter, before heading for the back of it. She figured that it looked like the library at her own university, and she was glad to be right, for once. 

After a moment, she came to an abrupt stop. A few meters away, a lone figure was sitting with her head between her arms, laptop, notebooks and several books laying around forgotten, as the other seemed to be either sleeping or just resting her head for a moment. As Kiara felt stuck on her spot, like deep chains keeping her anchored, she saw the head of her soulmate rise up slightly, absentmindedly scribbling something on one of the notebooks around her. 

Even like this, looking absolutely exhausted, with deep bags under her dark eyes, her long hair messily tied-up and a far-away expression deeply etched on her tanned skin, she was the most beautiful person Kiara had ever seen. It was only then that she realized the older one also wore her hoodie. After everything, Kyne had still not only kept it, but also was wearing it? It was adorable, and it did give her hope. Kiara inhaled deeply for courage and moved slightly closer. 

“Kyne...?” 

When their eyes met, she saw the mathematician blink in confusion a few times, before coming to rub the heel of her palms harshly against her tired eyes. As Kyne was now pinching at her forearm, Kiara rolled her eyes, a small grin still on her lips. “I’m real,” she said. 

“I don’t know, I don’t remember the last time I slept… Last time was a dream, too...”

“Kyne…”

“What are you doing here?” instead asked the Filipina, suddenly gaining back some strength, feeling more alert. “How did you even get here?” 

“I took the plane, and your roommates helped me,” Kiara said slowly, biting down on her lip with anxiety. “By the way, before you start losing it, I was forced to do it by a fortuitous association between my friends and yours. So you don’t accuse me of anything.” 

Kyne sighed loudly, raking a hand through her messy hair, before gathering all her things in her backpack. Kiara almost wanted to panic, but when she opened her mouth, the other beat her to it. “We’re not doing this here, come on. If we’re lucky, the others will have left the apartment empty - if they’re on this, too.” 

Kiara wanted nothing more but to take her soulmate’s hand but she decided to let it slide, merely following along like a lost puppy. She didn’t need to anger Kyne, and so far it seemed like they could have a decent conversation, so her overwhelming need to  _ touch _ her would have to wait. 

* * *

The walk to get back was silent. Eerily silent. Kiara didn’t know what to say, as they walked side by side like they used to do every day during the summer. But back then, it had been lighthearted, their hands brushing endlessly, sharing soft longing looks, and, later on, sweet kisses here and there. 

Now, Kyne was walking with her head stubbornly held high, her dark gaze never falling on her. Since the sidewalk was lightly iced and covered with snow, Kiara needed to somewhat pay attention and not fall down - she was known for that, in her friends circle. Kyne, on the other hand, seemed right at ease on it, barely hesitating on patches of barely seen ice. 

Somehow, Kiara made it in one piece to the silent apartment, and her eyes dropped on her backpack that was near the entrance. She instantly went to it, silently thanking the trio for taking care of it, as Kyne was probably going to her room to change and put her things back. 

“You can put it in my room,” heard Kiara coming from a nearby area of the large place. “Just so it’s not at the mercy of my roommates. They can be nosy, unlike me.” 

Kiara hesitantly took the proposition, making her way silently to the room she had only seen during FaceTime and on some random pictures Kyne showed her before. So when she crossed the threshold, literally and figuratively, into her soulmate’s personal space, she found out that she wasn’t really surprised by it. It was clean, if not a bit messy, with books everywhere and a corner where awards piled up. What took her aback was the smell of it, as it felt like she was suddenly surrounded by a never ending hug from Kyne and Kiara almost broke down - she had missed it so much, it had been unbearable. She inhaled strongly, her nails digging painfully into her palms - she needed to stay strong, if only for a little while longer. 

As Kiara raised her gaze from her backpack left at the corner of the room, she found that Kyne was simply typing away on her computer, and sat down on the very edge of her bed, waiting for her to be done. After a few minutes, Kiara was startled when she felt the bed dip a bit, with Kyne sitting next to her. “Sorry. I just told my professor I wouldn’t be there for the rest of the day, in case they were looking for me.” 

“No, it’s okay, I understand. It’s not like I warned you or anything,” chuckled Kiara. 

As Kyne merely hummed, they fell into a contemplative silence. It seemed like neither of them wanted to take the first step, as they were somewhat in a safe space for now. Slowly, Kiara calmed down her jumbled thoughts, and breathed out. She knew  _ she _ was the one blocking their connection now and she needed to do the first step. Tentatively, she let her guard down, allowing Kyne to access her mind if she wanted to. She instantly felt the girl’s thoughts flood her mindscape, and it felt liberating - no, exhilarating. Kiara hated having something blocking her from her soulmate, she was sure of it now. 

Absentmindedly, their hands brushed together, and Kiara exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. Even if it was just a touch, it felt right, it felt comfortable, it felt like  _ finally _ coming home after so long.

“Why did you come here?”

Kiara was surprised to hear the low voice of her soulmate first, and smiled gently. 

“Well, Rita  _ did _ bully me into it. But I’m glad she did, I’m glad she and our friends did something. I missed you,” she finally added, her voice barely loud enough to hear. 

“I missed you too,” admitted Kyne instantly, and Kiara knew she was still holding back just by watching her fidget nervously. “Are we gonna fight again?” 

The weak tone of the older girl cut deep at her heartstrings, and she couldn’t help but squeeze her hand tenderly. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was so angry, I said things that were out of line, I -”

“No, I just… you were right. It was selfish of me to expect  _ you _ to read my mind when I’m so difficult about it, even if we’re soulmates. You were right, and I’m sorry, too. I… Can I explain myself, and after you can tell me your thoughts as well?” 

Kiara smiled through the tears coming up, using her empty hand to brush them away. “Who are you and what did you do with my Kyne?” 

“Shut up! But just so you know, you aren’t the only one who got bullied by a furious blonde businesswoman last night.” 

“Rita called you?!” Kiara had a startled expression. “And you survived?!” Kyne grimaced at this. 

“More like, she called me to make sure I knew that she would make true of her promise of killing me if I hurt you, but also, to give me a whole damn speech on how to stop being a dumbass and just communicate more. But she didn’t tell me she was plotting with my friends to get you here, though,” finished Kyne with a huff. Kiara simply shrugged with a soft smile, and Kyne caressed her hand softly before standing up suddenly. Kiara frowned, instantly missing their closeness, and tilted her head in a silent question. 

“Sorry, if I stay near you I’m just gonna want to cuddle with you and fall asleep and we need to figure this out,” blurted out Kyne with an apologetic smile. 

“It’s okay, you can take your time,” assured Kiara, her hands coming to rest on the bed to support her weight somewhat, watching her soulmate eagerly. 

“Every time something happens, I feel the need to return inside my head alone and just play with the thoughts for a moment, without interference. Sometimes, it can take a while.” 

“I know. I don’t mind, I just don’t want you to barricade yourself from me behind walls taller than Everest.” 

Kyne nodded - it was a realistic demand from Kiara. “I know, and I trust you, but I’m gonna need more time to figure this out. I promise to lower my walls more, if only to you. Probably only to you. Would you be willing to tell me once I start?” 

“I will,” vowed Kiara simply, surprised by Kyne’s sudden willingness to work with her issues. 

The Québécoise watched as the older one paced around her room a bit, her footsteps silent on the dark rug. She knew Kyne was trying to make it right and she wanted to let her do it at her own pace - she was already doing well, and Kiara was proud of her for trying. 

“Lately, life has been so rough, and I know I should have talked about it with you - but I didn’t wanna bother you when you were doing so well...” 

“Except that I wasn’t. Work is exhausting; I always feel like I’m not enough. Yes, I spend time with my friends and family, but I missed you - there wasn’t a single time where you weren’t in my mind, figuratively or not.” Kiara waited for the Ontarian to nod before continuing. “When you -  _ we _ \- stopped talking more, I felt like you were ignoring me, pushing me away. You know that’s my biggest fear.” 

“I know,” meekly acknowledged Kyne. “I’m sorry. I always seem to do the worst possible thing, why are we even soulmates if the only thing I do is hurting you?”

“Because you’re made for me, and I’m made for you, and we  _ love _ each other, but we have our issues, like everyone does. We just -”

“- gotta stick together?”

“Yes, we do. Now, continue. I’m sure that’s not all the things,  _ I know _ it’s not.” 

Kyne sighed, but nodded, standing still for a moment, their eyes locking. “I missed you so much. I wasn’t even gone that I was already missing you. I don’t know how to do this, being away from you. Maybe later we’ll be able to - but not now. I was jealous of your friends and family because they had the chance to be with you all the time, but not me.”

“But  _ you _ are the only one with me all the time, though, don’t forget it,” reminded Kiara in a soft voice. 

“ _ I know _ \- also I just… Wanted you here with me, all the time, and I know how selfish that was, but I couldn’t for the life of me ask you to come see me even for a weekend. I thought you didn’t want to, because you never asked.” 

Kiara laughed heartily, confusing Kyne for a second. “I dreamed all summer that  _ you _ would stay with me and was constantly angry at myself for being selfish. I guess we’re more alike than you thought.” With this, she stood up, stretching lightly, and not missing the way Kyne’s eyes honed in on her exposed skin. She smirked, quietly emboldened by it, but they needed to finish their conversation first. 

“Also… I never proposed to come see you because I didn’t want to bother you. You were so busy with your masters and TA work, and since you didn’t ask, I thought you didn’t want me around.”

Kyne groaned, a hand facepalming herself. “So you’re telling me we’re just dumb and can’t communicate, is that it?” 

“Basically, yes, that’s what I’m saying. But hey, I’m here now!”

“Because Rita bullied us,” deadpanned Kyne, a hand on her hip. 

“Oh, don’t discount your roommates and my other friends’ implication in the whole bullying thing. It may have been orchestrated by Rita, but I think they’re all guilty.”

On this, Kiara sided closer to her soulmate, smiling playfully, biting down on her bottom lip softly. She took Kyne’s hands in hers, slightly rubbing her thumbs along the top of them. She was pleased to see the deepening blush on Kyne’s cheeks and upper neck the more she got closer to her. “You’re still wearing my hoodie, huh…”

Kyne smiled coyly, nodding, dropping her head against her soulmate’s shoulder softly, their height difference always funnier than she expected. “I like it because it’s  _ yours _ , feels like you’re always with me somehow.” 

“Does that mean we’re still dating?”

“I think we never really stopped, we were just dumb - we both know we can’t be apart, look what like two months did to us,” pragmatically said Kyne, gaining a chuckle from Kiara back. 

“Promise me this is not a fluke.” 

“Never, I wouldn’t play with you like this. I love you, you know.” 

“I know,” Kiara nodded, incapable of handling the distance between them anymore, and brought back their lips together, a deep heat surging almost instantly. She had missed this, just being together, but most of all, she had missed feeling Kyne surrender all control over to her in the blink of an eye. She felt the uttermost trust Kyne had for her in this, and it made her heart full of love for the smaller one like no one else had managed in her entire life. 

“ _ Stop thinking, I just want you!”  _

Startling her from her mushy thoughts, she heard the voice of Kyne ring loud and clear in her head, and she pulled back from their heated kiss for a second, gauging how much truth was in her thoughts. Kyne’s darkened eyes were watching her intensely, her hands grabbing tightly at her t-shirt, their noses grazing softly. Kiara saw her soulmate’s eyes closing, their lips meeting again, if only for a short moment, before Kyne pushed her back on her bed, apparently tired of standing on her tiptoes to get to her. If her smirk was anything to go by, along with her hastiness to remove her hoodie, Kiara was in for a long moment, all fatigue forgotten. 

* * *

“So, you’re gonna stay there with her?” Rita’s voice, regardless of her question, sounded absolutely not surprised. 

“Hmm. Until she finishes her masters, at least. Then, we’ll see where we go. I already told my parents earlier.”

“You’re still gonna come up here in the summer, at least?” 

“Yes,  _ mom _ , I will,” laughed Kiara, snuggling more on the warm bed, watching Kyne work on correcting student works nearby at her desk, shaking her head in disbelief every two seconds. Considering that Kyne was only wearing her own t-shirt as clothes, it was pretty interesting to watch, too. “I’ll bring her with me, too, I know you’re dying to see your other daughter.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

“I know you love her, don’t deny it.” 

“...Maybe,” reluctantly said Rita, through gritted teeth. This made Kiara smirk even more. 

“Because she reminds you of yourself.”

“Continue with this and I’m not transferring your office work at distance so you can be all lovey-dovey with your soulmate in Ontario,” threatened Rita sharply. 

Kiara rolled her eyes, knowing very well her best friend’s warning was a fluke. Rita would do it regardless, overjoyed for her. She was the one who had made it happen, after all.

“How are things with Lemon, by the way?”

Kiara heard a grumble on the other side of the line and barely kept in her laughter. For all her bravado and ruthless attitude, the blonde sure turned into a mess when her own soulmate was concerned. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kyne coming closer on the bed and she brought a finger to her lips, before putting the phone in speaker mode. 

“So?”

“I -  _ Je sais pas, je pense qu’on va regarder comment ça va se développer… _ ” 

Kiara arched an eyebrow in surprise, while Kyne couldn’t contain herself and blurted out: “They’re gonna date finally? Holy shit.”

“KIARA DID YOU PUT THE PHONE ON SPEAKER?  _ TRAÎTRE!  _ YOU LITTLE SHIT _!" _

Kiara and Kyne fell into a laughing fest while Rita still cursed at them in the background. They only stopped when they heard a door closing on the other side of the line, and two voices, one high-pitched and the other, very loud, piercing the veil of the phone, talking to Rita. 

“Wait. Is that Lemon  _ and _ Priyanka?” asked Kyne, startled, eyeing an even more surprised Kiara. 

“Rita, what the fuck, are you seeing  _ both _ of them?! Oh my fucking God!” 

“ _Bonne nuit Kiki, je te rappelle plus tard!_ Good night Kyne, if you hurt my baby I’m still killing you, bye!” blurted out the older woman, finishing the call, and leaving the two soulmates to watch each other curiously. 

“What are they even doing?”

Kiara shrugged, throwing her phone on the other side of the bed in favor of holding Kyne closer to her. “I have absolutely no idea what the hell my best friend is doing with these two, but, I mean, good for her, I guess?” 

Kyne nodded, snuggling closer to her soulmate, her head hidden in her neck, sighing happily. “Good for them.” She yawned, bringing one of the blankets over them, adding some warmth in the wake of the winter storm raging outside. 

“Are you falling asleep again? Did I tire you out that much?” smirked Kiara. 

“Mmm. You’re comfortable,” mumbled Kyne, eyes fluttering shut, barely acknowledging the smirk of her lover. “I love you.” 

“Me too. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” admitted Kiara with a burst of affection for her small soulmate tightly nestled against her under the covers. She felt a light kiss being dropped on her neck, and a hand squeezing her naked side, and she smiled. Maybe they didn’t have everything figured out yet, but they just had to hold on to each other, in the end. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you liked it, please leave kudos and comments for the sweet validation.  
> I really enjoyed writing this for the two (2) people it caters to. ❤️ If more people appreciated it, I'll need to know!  
> My tumblr is here: @fromthenorthernskies


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